Last month, 84-year-old Vidal Sassoon was interviewed in conjunction with an Atlantic City event that brought together 5000 hair care professionals.

Emiliani Enterprises commissioned Eleven Eleven Productions to shoot the above video featuring Vidal and his son Elan at the hairdresser's home in Bel Air.

The film is notable for the great theme song, the incredible outfits, and Diana's bulging eyes when photographer Anthony Perkins turns psycho on her.

Here are the tres chic highlights, as reported by well-dressed attendee Christian Freedom:

"Though Wikipedia states that Tom went to Bard College, he never attended that school.

"He is working on three film projects, but gets frustrated since filmmaking is such a long process, unlike fashion.

Christian Freedom was there and told me the highlights of what Janice said.

To wit:

"Stallone has a penile implant.

"Tyra is a greedy bitch who wouldn't give Janice a producer's credit/fee.

The man who specializes in exotic prints and sandblasted jeans hates anything too minimal, and he's not afraid to say it.

"Just look at American fashion," he told an interviewer, "which is almost fashion. It's terrible, and you almost can't look at it."

And then he named names. One, anyway.

"It's been driven by a great journalist, Anna Wintour," Cavalli went on, "who wants all women to be like her and to dress the way she does."

You want to pretend to be a jet and descend through it to the ground.

It belongs to Miguel Allure from Jerseylicious, whom I met while shooting the new Adam Barta video.

And I'm quite certain you can help!

Here are the exhibits and displays I've already got in mind:

*Asymmetrical outfits, calculatedly damaged jeans, body paint, sideways visors, and sunglasses

All represented in the above photo -- a miracle of victimization!

Can you believe I had the nerve to stand there and seriously discuss fashion trends while wearing that!

If the fringed dickey could talk, it would surely be saying, "You don't know shit about no fashion! If you did, why would you be wearing me?"

In the front row!

But I actually never wanted her to go, because her jazzy prints and big glasses had become zanily popular.

And because now I'm the oldest one on the scene, ba dum pum.