An article by Sheila Marikar on ABC.com points out that Billy Crystal has returned to Oscar-hosting amidst a whole new cultural landscape.

Says the piece, there is now "a general sense that movie stars can't be covered in a wholesome, fun for the whole family sort of way."

Enter Billy Crystal.

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Zero -- count 'em, zero -- Academy Award nominations were given to a quartet of films that made lots of other peoples' lists, and I know exactly why.

The films are Shame, with Michael Fassbender as a pussy hound who can only get it up for quick, anonymous sex;

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In a very ungracious move, a high-ranking member of the Academy of blah, blah has given an interview saying that James Franco and Anne Hathaway were terrible choices as Oscar hosts.

Let me add to the ungraciousness by saying, "Hallelujah!"

The Academy member cites the two comely stars' lack of chemistry as a problem, not to mention the fact that they're not comics, so they weren't able to spontaneously react to the awards-show happenings as they played out around them.

Let me add the fact that Franco became more passive as Hathaway got more needy, and he even seemed to impulsively roll his eyes at some of her chirpy shtick. You could smell the hostility.

And the material!

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Or at least since the Rob Lowe/Snow White one.

Here's why:

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The Academy Awards will be telecast on February 27, when we'll get all new acceptance speeches to savor and barf at.

In the meantime, having just posted the worst speeches in the trophy's history, here are my favorite ones, whereby winners managed to shine in that high-pressure situation--according to me, anyway.

10) Joe Pesci: "It was my privilege. Thank you."

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Something about copping an Oscar often brings out the worst in people--phoniness, fake humility, excessive blubbering, and total inarticulation.

As we hold our collective breaths for February 27, here are the absolute worstest so far:

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CLICK HERE for my final batch of Oscar predictions--until the next one, of course.

This time, I detail who will surely get nominated on the 25th, who'll get royally shafted, and who'll get screwed who deserves it.

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I was just on Judith Regan's show on Sirius radio when my husbear Bruce Vilanch phoned in and revealed that he'll again be writing the jokes for the Oscar telecast.

Vilanch said he recently met with first-time hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway to see how to optimize their presence on the show, "because they're not standup comics and they're not Hugh Jackman--though they both have talent in that area."

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The King's Speech

...along with those of other esteemed movieland pundits, as told to Goldderby.com.

The gum-flapping gang has anointed The King's Speech, Colin Firth, Annette Bening, and Danny Boyle as the golden ones who will step up to the podium without that much in their way.

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Colin Firth

Here it is: Unfounded, un-called for, and way too early.

Best Actor nominees will surely include Colin Firth (The King's Speech), James Franco (127 Hours), and Robert Duvall (Get Low).

Firth is the favorite to win right now, especially since he was so good in A Single Man last year and in everything else he's done--though things could shift by next year if someone has a tracheotomy.

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