Here's the first trailer for Jack and Jill, in which Adam Sandler finally jumps on the Madea/Norbit/Klumps bandwagon and plays his own twin sister from da Bronx.

It's sort of a very Freaky Friday, with Adam coming off like ... no, let me not name any real-life females who might be offended by the comparison.

A really good trailer--like the ones so many fine people were raised in--should provide the essence of a movie without blowing all the important script twists.

They should offer a titillating tease that will make you feel like seeing the whole thing, rather than a Monarch's Notes-type rundown for those who need a 60-second rehash in case they're quizzed on the plot later on.

Joey Arias is the downtown landmark who for years has entertained us with his progressive performances, Billie Holiday impressions, and subversively dirty humor. And now he's a documentary star too. Working Pictures is creating a film about Joey's genius--culminating with his Arias with a Twist show, a collaboration with puppeteer Basil Twist--in which the avant-garde glitterati gush about his unique contributions to the stage and to the earth.

Check out this teaser for the film and you'll even see me in there, reminiscing about the scene that spawned Joey in a corset, heels, and wild eyes before he landed at Bardot, in Vegas, and in this destined-for-one-of-the-classier-cable-channels documentary.

Golden-chunked socialite Paris Hilton, who helped us get through 2008, has become a bit fame challenged since the country became too busy picking food out of garbage cans to enrapture itself much with the glam shopping sprees and moxieish manhunts of a poor little rich girl. But she's coming back this summer when MTV airs Paris, Not France, a documentary about her that's already played festivals, partly thanks to the inclusion of renowned commentators like...ME! Check out this trailer for the film and wait it out till the 2:22 mark and there I will be, spouting some insightful homily or other.

Nine is the all-star musical film based on the Broadway show, which in turn was based on the Fellini flick 8 1/2, about an Italian director who's surrounded by scads of exasperating yet titillating women.

Well, the trailer makes it looks like a gorgeous melange of Italianisma, as directed by Rob "Chicago" Marshall and centered by Daniel Day-Lewis as the put-upon auteur with too much estrogen on his hands.

See what you think--and as you're savoring the glimpses of Oscar winners Judi Dench, Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, and Sophia Loren, start imagining who you'd like to see in the inevitable musical version of that other Fellini epic--La Dolce Musto!

From Beginning To End, as it were, is an upcoming Brazilian film that explores the unconditional love between two brothers, a situation that leads to incest and all kinds of smegma comparing. Watch this trailer for the film--no, really watch it all--and you'll be agog at how simultaneously sensational and boring it all is. "Incest has never been so delightful!" sickos might exclaim--though a saner response might be, "Hand me some Brazilian coffee NOW. I'm nodding the fuck off! When did incest become a South American A&F catalogue shoot?"

Though of course if I had a hot Brazilian brother like that one with the facial hair, I'd certainly...steal his boyfriend.

I was dying to show the 1978 disaster flick (in every sense of the word) The Swarm to my bad movie club, but the DVD version is 155 minutes long--as if a piece of crapola like that needs to be restored to its uncut glory. Berlin Alexanderplatz it ain't! Still, while the movie has never garnered any buzz, ba dum pum, there are some perverse pleasures to be had as formerly dignified stars like Olivia DeHavilland scrunch their foreheads over the sight of some not very scary looking bees hanging around a windowpane. It's especially delightful in a one minute and seven second version, namely the trailer! The same trailer Olivia should have locked herself in and never come out of! Bzzzzzzzz....

Anyone feel that The Women, the classic sparkling comedy about adultery, bitchery, and sisterhood, needed to be remade in an updated version? Anyone feel that the dream cast for this project would include Meg Ryan, Jada Pinkett-Smith, and Debra Messing? Anyone wonder how Jungle Red nail polish looks with Botox? Anyone willing to bite their tongue and take a look at the trailer?

ALSO
Higher quality version here at Yahoo Movies