In the old days, Broadway shows were publicized by a whole bunch of companies, though eventually it boiled down to the two p.r. biggies--Boneau Bryan Brown and Barlow/Hartman. Well, the latter recently broke up and has been reformed into just The Hartman Group, and in the meantime Boneau has emerged as the overwhelming top dog, handling a large majority of the stuff coming down the turnpike for you and me. Thank GOD I've kissed their esteemed asses for years because it means I will get orchestra tickets for the following avalanche of hot shows they are handling:

I never smoke cigars, especially the one Bill Clinton shoved into Monica Lewinsky, but I'm delighted to know that it's finally been identified (if not tested).

According to a press release I just got, "Several inside sources have finally confirmed that Gurkha Cigars was indeed the cigar that was used between Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton. In light of the recent announcement about the HBO movie Special Relationship featuring Clinton's personal relationships, Gurkha Cigars is happy to announce that they too are part of oval office history." -Roy MacLaren, Vice President Sales and Marketing.

I generally get inundated with emails from all varieties of show biz types, all regularly hawking their wares, their firstborn, their mood swings, and their genital jewelry, in eternal hopes of a mention.

But two figures rise way above the pack in the sheer volune of promo materials they put out there: Russell Simmons and gay porn icon Michael Lucas, oddly enough. Simmons' people send a steady stream of items about his politics, his good works, and why he sells clothes at WalMart. If I don't get an item about Simmons in 10 whole minutes, I start to call the police--but then an email comes in and I settle down into complacence again.

I generally don't run p.r. pitches, but this one was too delicious not to grab with bare hands and pass on to you folks. It's about a laser hair remover's offbeat encounters with celebrities, most notably a porn star who wanted his noodle to be as hairless as a chihuahaua's (but much bigger). Here goes: