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And even a gay man could appreciate the wonderful message.

This was at last night's Miss LEZ pageant, organized and hosted by Murray Hill, the big-shticked hoofer who puts the "king" back in "fucking" and who "makes meat loaf look like Salisbury steak."

The annual event -- which I judged, as usual -- turned the Knitting Factory upside down with shimmying body parts, oozing fluids, and kooky, inclusive talent.

It turns out these LEZ-zies are even more outrageous than their drag-queen counterparts.

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​I've been operating a little too much in the gay-male ghetto, so I ventured into the lesbian arena to judge Murray Hill's hilarious Miss Lez pageant the other night at the Knitting Factory, way out in Brooklyn.

And I was thrilled to find I wasn't anonymous there.

In fact, the second I walked in, a lesbian ran up to me and gushed, "A couple of years ago, my friends and I had a contest about who would see the first celebrity in New York. I saw you and I won!"

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​Behind the scenes anyway.

You remember The Accused.

The 1988 drama with Jodie Foster gang-raped at a dive bar, defended by a rather butch public prosecutor (Kelly McGillis) who helps her get retribution.

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​Tammy Etheridge won't be coming to Melissa Etheridge's window any time soon.

Their longtime trailblazing lesba-relationship is officially as kaput as the excitement around Lilith Fair.

And I had just gotten over the demise of Rosie and Kelli!

What good are gay relationships if they're going to break up just like straight ones?

​You know her as the feisty actress from The Fast and The Furious.

You also know her as the even feistier person who fought with her girlfriend.

And now, Michelle Rodriguez has been announced as the guest DJ for the GO Nightlife awards, hosted by a lesbian magazine for lesbians who will be lesbianing it up at the extremely lesbian event.

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​When that Mississippi prom was canceled just so 18-year-old Constance McMillen and her girlfriend wouldn't come, Constance became a huge media star in the wake of the hideous bigotry.

And in the process, I started wondering "What next?"

What else would hatemongers cancel just to avoid admitting people they don't approve of?

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​When chirpy, blonde Meredith Baxter turned up on a lesbian cruise last month, it didn't take a freakin' Sherlock Holmes to figure out that her Family Ties were of the sapphic variety. And now, the longtime TV star
opens up about her lesbianism in a coming out interview that details her mid-life awakening and the way her partners in her skin care company didn't break out in a rash over it.

It's your turn, Tina Yothers. Give us some kind of revelation.

​Oscar nominee Queen Latifah has gone to New York's hottest weekly lesbian party twice in a row, accompanied by sizzling dishes of womanhood, according to Page Six. The singer/actress/whatever's official stance has always been that she doesn't care if people think she's gay, so that works out just fine!

But Queenie, maybe next week you can bring Missy Elliott?

I got some hot, confirmed dish about a lesbian couple who rode the charts in between riding each other, ba dum pum.

Lesley Gore is the fabulous singer of "It's My Party" who went on to co-write the Oscar-nominated "Out Here On My Own" and now has grown into a full-scale chanteuse with great chops.

Lana Cantrell is an Australian songbird with a great hairdo and some fine vocalizing skills, always a bit reminiscent of a tennis player from Down Under.

Well, I've learned for a fact that back in the '60s, the two dated! A lot!

Does this excite anyone except me? If not, fine. It'll be my party and I'll wet my knickers if I want to.

Everyone always says they're bisexual, blabbing on and on about how "sexuality is fluid, and I don't really like labels"--but usually I find these are just gay men who are afraid to come out. I know there are real bisexuals out there--mainly because I've heard that there are--and I do
think it's a lovely idea to actually crave sex with people regardless of gender. I'm just wondering how real a phenomenon this is, as opposed to a smoke-and-mirrors coverup designed to keep antsy gays in the closet.

Most of the guys I know who say they're bisexual end up doing Bette Davis impersonations after a few drinks, and when you invite them to an all-girl bar, they get excited, thinking you mean Splash. But do you know anyone who REALLY is equally attracted to both men and women and effortlessly glides between those two dating pools without a second's thought or self-consciousness? If so, do you ever suspect they're full of shit?