Stephen Hawking Says God Had Nothing To Do With The Creation Of The Universe

Categories: Religion

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In a lecture at the California Institute of Technology, Stephen Hawking discounted God's role in the birth of our world.

And he got pretty sardonic about it.

"What was God doing before the divine creation?" Hawking wondered. "Was he preparing hell for people who asked such questions?"

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What's The Difference Between A Priest And A Pedophile?

Categories: Religion

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Lady Bunny has the answer to that in her new, hilarious assortment of jokes (below), which she obviously filmed right in front of the Vatican.

And she did so in a shmatte similar to what the new Pope will surely be wearing! (Though Bunny has way better hair.)

Anyway, I suppose you'll want an answer to that setup line. Alas, I'm Catholic, was raised on the good book Jesus, and I do believe I want to see the morning.

But what the hell, I'll give you punchline:

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"Stroke Your Bible! Now Kiss Your Bible!"

Categories: Religion

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Bible studies have never been this erotic!

Watch as evangelist Mike Murdock advises his crowd to get intimate with the good book.

"Hold your bible close to your heart," he starts, innocently enough--but that's just foreplay, I guess.

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"Let's Engage In Some Cardiovascular Fitness Unto The Lord!"

Categories: Religion

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"You know it's God who created these bodies of ours. With his help, we can keep these bodies working in optimum condition.

"Are you ready to start your Fun To Be Fit 'Blessercize' program?

"Let's warm up with a bible verse.

"Hands up, fingers pointed to heaven.

"Let's get jubilant. Put on your shoes and let's get ready to do our David dance.

"David danced before the lord with all his might. This is our David dance!"

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Michelle Shocked's Wiki Page Was Updated To Call Her A Bigot

Categories: Religion

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Born-again alt-folk singer made incendiary "God hates f*gs" remarks at a concert last night, which have incited her remaining fans and almost made her famous again.

An angry activist type responded by changing Shocked's Wikipedia page to say this.

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Examples Of How Pope Francis Hates The Gays

Categories: Religion

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Not that you needed it, but what the hell--I mean heck--let's run through them all at once, just so we can digest, flush, and then move on.

Thanks to datalounge for posting some of Pope (Arlene) Francis's immortal viewpoints that aim to spread love and peace--I mean hate and oppression.

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An Argentine Gay Reacts In Horror To The New Pope

Categories: Religion

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A source of mine is an Argentinian gay male.

And when he heard about the appointment of Jorge Mario Bergoglio as Pope, he didn't exactly swell with nationalistic pride.

Says the guy:

"Bergoglio appears to have been actively involved in protecting the dictatorship's abuses in the 70's and also of handing over to the death squads two of his own Jesuit priests kidnapped in 1976.

"There is a case against him regarding that and witnesses.

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Pope Benedict Will Still Have The Services Of His Handsome Male Companon

Categories: Religion

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Get this, Mary.

Departing Pope Benedict gets to retain his hot male sidekick, Georg Ganswein, who as Andrew Sullivan says, "will be living with Benedict at the monastery inside the Vatican and keeping his day job as prefect of the new pope's household."

Talk about One Man, Two Guvnors! (Or "two self-loathing homophobes," if you prefer.)

This man, adds the gay commentator, is "clearly in some kind of love with Ratzinger (and vice versa)."

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Disgraced Cardinal Won't Be Part Of The Search To Replace Disgraced Pope

Categories: Religion

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Cardinal Keith O'Brien, the most senior cleric in the UK, has announced that he won't be part of the big old jamboree that will help choose a new Pope.

O'Brien tendered his resignation last year in the wake of allegations of "inappropirate behavior" with junior clergy back in the 1980s, when Jerry Sandusky was just gearing up for his own mentoring horrors.

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If You Thought Ted Was Creepy, Here's A Christian Teddy Bear That Brainwashes Your Child

Categories: Religion

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John Hagee's ministries came up with this:

A Promises To Grow On audio player, which is basically a cute little bedside teddy bear that "gives you the opportunity to saturate your child in an environment of scriptures selected for them."

Among the disingenous messages that spout from the back of the bear:

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