Have a listen and please let me know if it makes any of this mess any more illuminating.

Thanks.

It seems like it involves clicking and registering and joining and paying and stuff like that, so I'm hardly recommending it, but a friend--yeah, a friend--said it was worth it for him.

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I hear Coyote Shivers was found GUILTY in LA Criminal Court yesterday on both counts of stalking and harassment.

The victim has been NCIS star Pauley Perrette, and sentencing is reportedly on her birthday in March, ironically enough. He's out on 150K bail.

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The dark tale of legless athlete Oscar Pistorius, who's been charged with the premeditated murder of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, has gotten even darker.

There have been some flagrant foulups in the case against Oscar.

First, Detective Hilton Botha claimed investigators found testosterone (which is illegal for athletes) in Pistorius's digs, while the defense said it was merely a perfectly legal herbal supplement.

Botha had to admit the substance hadn't even been tested yet!

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Blind gossip items are the theme of this week's column, which is a cavalcade of tawdry yet somehow educational items about the things "who" did to "who else" because "who" never told "whom" that...

Oh, heck, it's a pulsating extravaganza of querulousness.

Filled with lots of whos, whats, whens, wheres, why, and why nots.

Get ready for some tops and bottoms, a smattering of hustler boyfriends, some polite urination on a sitcom star, a lovely bout of breastfeeding a possum, and a whole batch of entitled behavior, which leads to much huffing and puffing when no one recognizes the frustrated star in question--and not because of their surgery either!

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I wasn't going to write about Todd Kincannon because he seemed to be loving the attention his gross tweets about Trayvon Martin were garnering.

But it's now come out that the South Carolina Republican sexted his cannon. You know, hie penis. To various women he didn't know.

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Just moments ago, we were discussing Fantasia's weird Instgram message about how gays can get married and people can smoke pot, but somehow she gets crucified.

The former American Idol singer later explained that all of that was taken out of context and she actually loves the gays.

And now comes her latest act of self martyrdom:

An Instagram rant in which she offers "middle finger up to those who seak [sic] to destroy me".

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Bronson Pelletier is the young actor who played Jared in two of the Twilight flicks.

In December, he was accosted by authorities at LAX because he appeared more intoxicated than a vampire after a bloodbath.

Some reports had it that Bronson proceeded to wet himself.

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There was a ton of birthday suit action last year, a lot of it resulting from protests over censorship regarding nudity, which of course gave us some lovely flesh-flashing in the first place.

So genitals begat screaming, which begat more genitals and of course (they never learn) more screaming.

And now, Queerty.com has generously taken everything off except their thinking chapeaus and recounted the year's highlights in public nakedness--from Prince Harry to some queens; from strippers to activists to people who just happened to stand in front of a wind tunnel.

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This is outrageous!

The 22-year-old singing star is apparently dating Harry Styles from the boy band One Direction.

And he's way younger than she is!

He's only 18!

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