​At the Writers Guild Awards at B.B. King Blues Club the other night, one lady was really singin' the blues.

It was Claire Labine, a renowned soap opera writer who was being honored with a career achievement award for her work on Ryan's Hope and several other landmark shows.

'I am in mourning," she admitted in her speech.

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On last night's Countdown show, Keith and I had tons of fun dissecting the Republicans' pledge to ban "hard-core, offensive porn" and -- on a whole other plane -- we also managed to chew over their probable Valentine's Day plans.

Among my HILARIOUS outbursts:

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Or he will, but he'd actually rather not.

At an Empire Hotel party for his fashion line yesterday, Miami Ink's Ami James told me he's not starstruck when it comes to doling out tats.

"I'm a street guy," he said.

"To me, it's like street art.

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Whenever I see a TV camera approaching, my face lights up like a Halloween pumpkin and all the hanging skin inflates like a Thanksgiving Day float based on a long-running animated character.

I basically become a holiday parade float of a giant, gay, papier-mâché suckerfish.

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Next month, HBO will start airing Game Change, starring Julianne Moore as vice-presidential-wannabe-turned-reality-star Sarah Palin, and it's too early for reviews, but some buzz is already filtering out like horny moose on the tundra.

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Antenna is channel number 166 on my dial, but it's well worth the nosebleed.

It's a treasure trove of old TV gems that fills the void left by the rerun channels that have horrifyingly moved up to '80s fare.

Antenna resurrects the salty days of the small-screen's most arrestingly iconographic figures in their most shameless grandeur.

Not just Bea Arthur as that anything but tranquilizin', right-on Maude -- which in itself is a retro marvel -- but also Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Jack Benny, Dennis the Menace, Burns and Allen, and so much more.

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Susanna Barrett is steaming mad.

Yes, she lets her daughter enter pageants and go on a reality show.

Sure, she didn't stop her from singing along with "I'm Sexy and I Know It" for a charity event crowd at a nightclub.

(That's the song by by LMFAO -- you know, Laughing My Fucking Ass Off.)

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On Howard Stern's show, mouthy comic Sandra Bernhard admitted that she turned down the role of Miranda on Sex and the City.

Batshit crazy?

No, hold on people, hear out her reasons.

For one thing, she says, the script was absolutely horrible.

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There were commercials for it all through the Golden Globes, and two of the presenters were stars from the show.

Every Broadway site has large wraparound ads for it on the homepage.

The trade magazines are brimming with ads and articles about it.

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I like it just as much as my other favorite relatively new channel I told you about.

This one is Investigation Discovery (ID) -- it's 23 on my dial -- and it fills the void left by truTV not showing Forensic Files as much as they used to, for some reason that should be illegal.

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