Photo: Andrew Werner

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"The legend!" said Randy Jackson as he approached me at the Lacoste penthouse party for his record label last night.

That's now the official way all celebrities must greet me or they don't get a mention.

(By the way, he was bowing and scraping, too. A nice extra touch.)

Anyway, I asked Randy if he has survivor's guilt being the last of the original judges still on Idol.

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That's what Ian Benardo says in his lawsuit against the show, also claiming producers called him "fag" and "homo," one threatening to "shove this mic up your ass."

Reports Ad Week, the American Idol lawyer responds by saying the remarks never happened!

And if they did, they're OK! (How's that for legal double talk?)

Mr. lawyer said they were simply a "few sporadic verbal spurs...spread out over the course of four years."

If they happened.

And besides, he insists that saying "Gay it up" is an act of acceptance of encouragement."

Is it what they tell Seacrest?

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No, really.

There's a finalist from that show, it turns out, who doesn't just shriek and bop around the stage while making screechy faces.

It's Melinda Doolittle, who came in third in season six, but who's a big winner at Feinsteins at the Regency through March 5.

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​Turns out the competition on that show isn't always just between the contestants.

According to a new book called American Idol: The Untold Story by Richard Rushfield, judges Kara DioGuardi and Ellen DeGeneres had a bit of a battle going down.

Says the author:

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​ *Kara DioGuardi lacked the spark and unpredictability of Paula Abdul. You never felt she might nod off in the middle of the show -- and that was a problem.

*Ellen DeGerenes seemed similarly awkward about doling out singing advice --plus she knew less than Kara, since her only musical credit is doing that happy dance.

*Randy Jackson is like the guy from Office Space who just won't leave.

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​I'm a little bit suspicious whenever I hear of someone stepping down from a lucrative TV job.

I always question the truth behind someone saying "This wasn't the right fit" as they exit a big paycheck that puts their face out to kazillions of people on a weekly basis.

I mean, did anyone really believe Kathie Lee stepped down from her show with Regis because she wanted to focus more on her singing?

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via Stern Rate

​According to today's Page Six, that could happen, as the popular talent show is reportedly courting the shock jock to replace Simon Cowell (though a source is quoted as saying Stern might just be using this to keep Sirius XM on their toes and give him lots of money when his contract renews).

If it did happen, the frizzy haired mouth of America would surely be sharp and funny as he cuts down all those screechy singers, all while Ellen DeGeneres assumes an Abdul-like glow and tries to defend them.

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​So they ignored all our suggestions--LaToya Jackson, Abe Vigoda, and so on--and went with Ellen DeGeneres to fill in the woozy dormouse slot on the American Idol panel, formerly occupied by "Straight Up" star Paula Abdul and her morphine patch scar.

But I think this is a good thing! Ellen will be positive and friendly like Paula--whom I liked--but she'll also add some zingy energy (though I pray she doesn't do that infernal dance of hers).

What's more, there will finally be an OUT gay in the show's cast of regulars! Yay!

​We've had a couple of days to recover from Comedy Central's roast of veteran funny lady Joan Rivers, and now that the wonderfully putrid air has cleared, we can look back and remember the choicest bits of appallingly hilarious indecorum (not all of them aimed at Rivers, by the way.)

Among the most memorable:

Kathy Griffin: "Tonight's going to be gayer than that kid from American Idol this year--Ryan Seacrest!"

Greg Giraldo: "What's with the surgery, Kathy? You've been stitched up thousands of times, but you're still sad to look at. You're like the AIDS quilt."

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​Another onetime chart-topper, like an Olivia Newton-John or a Deborah Gibson?

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