Years ago, Republican Senate nominee Christine O'Donnell publicly admitted that she'd dabbled in witchraft and even went on a satanic picnic. (Haven't we all?)

But now she's covering all that up with a blanket "I am not a witch. I am you" commercial that'll be casting a spell on the airwaves as soon as she's through stirring her cauldron of snakes and smoke effects.

Repubs recently got caught hanging out at the racy Voyeur club in West Hollywood, but that's fine; the club insists it's basically an art appreciation joint, not a strip palace! (Yeah, and the Olive Garden is the Italian embassy.)

Did the wife really shatter the car window to free her husband or was she more likely aiming for his head?

If he really is the victim of spousal abuse, will people finally take seriously the fact that some men can be Rihanna-like? (Though in her case, it was the abuser who cheated.)

In an already legendary fit, Carrie Prejean took her mic off and waltzed off the set on Larry King Live the other night, upset about Larry's questioning and the fact that he was allowing call-ins whereas she'd supposedly made a deal forbidding that to happen.

How far will I go to get attention? Think of the farthest thing you can think of--say, Magic Johnson's penis--and quadruple it a few times.

To wit: Last night, I went on Countdown With Keith Olbermann, with guest host Lawrence O'Donnell, to recreate bits of speeches Sarah Palin was going to recite, except they wouldn't let her.

...and balloon girl Carrie Prejean, ba dum pum!

Yes, in a riveting, panoramic segment on MSNBC's Countdown With Keith Olbermann last night, we talked about that zany little balloon boy and why his dad once commissioned TV theme songs that sound like the Beverly Hillbillies tune on extra mooonshine.

Sarah Palin's worst nightmare, Levi Johnston, is posing for Playgirl magazine, which is perfect for him--it's online and it's basically a bunch of pictures.

You have to believe me! The dethroned Miss California who only favors "opposite marriage" is suing the pageant people for dumping her and exposing her to all kinds of mockery--including my "vicious attack" of one-liners on Countdown With Keith Olbermann! The lawsuit names my ass!

Last night, I went on Countdown With Keith Olbermann to discuss Carrie Prejean's dethroning, but don't believe the headline someone put on YouTube ("Musto Lament's Carrie Prejean's Firing.."). The truth is, while I DID point out Donald Trump's hypocrisies in suddenly turning against Carrie, I said her axing was "poetic justice. It's like when OJ got convicted for robbery instead of beheading two people. I'm fine with it."

Last night on Countdown With Keith Olbermann, I got to toss off some of my breast, I mean best jokes about Miss California Carrie Prejean's knocker implants, while also getting off my chest my feelings about her relentless crusade in favor of "opposite" marriage. Watch it and laugh your tits off!