My Sex (Advice) Video
Posted by Eugene Mirman at 1:10 PM, September 13, 2005
One night at Rififi, after Invite Them Up (a weekly comedy show I do with friends on Wednesdays), a guy, who I dubbed "Mr. Delicious," hit on my friend. I don't know his real name, but he acted like he was the nectar of love—more masculine than Apollo, sexier than Zeus (who, if you believe mythology, once had sex with someone in the form of a goose, something you couldn't do in today's conservative America). Mr. Delicious very confidently asked my friend, "What do you do?" "I'm a teacher," she responded. Oh yeah? Guess what— "I'm a model," he said. He acted with the confidence of four very confident people. He went on to talk about how he'd take her to Bungalow 8 (I think that's what it's called), he bragged about having sex with a wealthy married woman (a true accomplishment), and then as an aside mentioned, "Her husband beats her" (a very sexy fact).
I have no idea whether he was telling the truth or lying, because what he was saying was so confident, but weird. Ultimately, all of this hitting on culminated in an amazing quote. In a way that let her know that if they had sex nothing afterwards would compare, he exclaimed, "I'm going to blow through your pussy." There's countless other stuff he said and did over the course of the evening. Watching that unfold, along with something in Maxim Magazine that I did, made me make this sex advice video.
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