Here's our chance to beat the Times to declaring a trend. If we could only believe it, we would be telling you that permed fauxhauks are going to be huge for men this fall. Huge!

From Craiglist:

Male Model Wanted for Perm Wave (Think Ryan Phillipe in Studio 54) (Chelsea)

Hi

I am a hairdresser working in a high end salon, need to design a profile for the NYTimes about upcoming looks for the fall. One of them is a perm for guys, you should have a reasonably full head of hair, it needs to be 4 inches long all over, it will be cut into a highly textured fauxhauk (longer in the middle short on the sides)

the finished look is like Ryan in Studio 54 (see photo) doesn't matter if you are blonde or not NO RELAXER previously in your hair, it will fall off

Please call me right away, no money offered but pr exposure and a good cut.

Keep your pants on. Ricky's is coming to Montague Street in Brooklyn Heights, any minute now. It seems this shop sports a somewhat more elegant look from the outside than our favorite downtown locations. Neighborhood appropriate, we suppose.

Today, our head hurts and we're feeling hateful. Maybe it has something to do with spending two hours on the A train last night, only to end crammed onto a shuttle bus full of homicidal straphangers?

Anyway, it's really great timing for the ridonculous news that Leona Helmsley left $12 million to her freaking dog, Trouble, and $0 to two of her grandchildren, who apparently know what they did to piss her off. And even more convenient, our own Lynn Yaeger, who hates pets, reports today on Pet Fashion Week, from the doggie perfume to the $400 collars.

After purchasing a Philip Lim dress on sale at Bird yesterday for $159, we've more than used up our sale-season splurge budget, but we urge you to take advantage. Perhaps you could use an anchor-printed tunic from Built By Wendy for $106?

Someone in Brooklyn Heights needs to get rid of a life-size copy of Michelangelo's Pieta, which was, unsurprisingly, an impulse buy by the seller's granny:

In our little rant about men's fashion don'ts the other day, we didn't even mention the ultimate deal-breaker, the chastity belt of modern footwear: the Heely. Did you know they make them for adults? That doesn't mean it's OK, fellers. They made Segways and raver pants, too, but that was no excuse. Clearly it's not OK to roll around on sneakers that look like Sketchers for the handicapped. It should go without saying, but, we keep seeing you guys. One of our neighbors has a big bumper sticker on her front door that says : JESUS IS COMING! REPENT OR PERISH! When we pass by, we usually shrug and say to ourselves "Eh, I'll take perish," but now that phrase comes to mind in earnest. SAVE YOURSELVES!

Today, Lynn Yaeger uses her column to write an open letter of sorts to Jack Kerouac, just to let him know how his image has made its way into today's high fashion. Hogan, the leather brand, has designed the "Jack Kerouac Project" to celebrate the 50th anniversary of On the Road.

This is perhaps the most perfect example we've seen of what is so uncool about Fashion. Looking like Jack Kerouac, in his beat-up, grungy leather jacket? Cool. Paying $1,590 for it? Eh. Not that we wouldn't like to have money, but if we weren't forced to dive through the bins at thrift stores, we might look like some kind of poseur too.

A true sample sale is coming our way. In the garment district, things will get serious the first week of September, with a Showroom Seven Sample Sale that boasts "designer sportswear and accessories at wholesale & below"! Some of the labels featured are Charlotte Ronson, Issa, Clarendon, and Tara Subkoff for Easy Spirit. But there are much more.

Showroom Seven

498 Seventh Avenue

24th floor

(212) 643-4810

Sample Sale

Tuesday, September 4 - Friday, September 14

(Not including Sunday)

10 AM - 7PM

Photo ID required

If you don't know the store La Sirena, Threadster is doing you a favor today. Every Christmas, we hit up this tiny Mexican imports shop on East 3rd for traditional Oaxacan sculptures, decorative mirrors, embroidered tunics, and cool hard plastic shopping bags. Starting Thursday, owner Dina Leor is holding a big sale, so now we can get some stuff for ourselves.

Rebajo!

August 23 - September 3

La Sirena

27 East 3rd Street

(212) 780-9113

Here's an all-too familiar scenario: You're on the subway going home after another suck-ass day in the cubicle, and you're bored. A subway boyfriend would really help pass the time, and that tall drink of water who just got on is looking promising. Until he turns around and reveals his Chinese character neck tattoo, or until you scroll down to his stone-washed, wide-legged jeans and weird European sneakers. Why can't men just wear something normal, like non-distressed jeans and a non-shiny shirt of some sort?