This year, ditch the film canister, the baggy, and the recycled spice jar for a pretty little weed box from Jonathan Adler. Santa would want you to be stylishly stoned. Mary Jane Jar, $50.

We kind of don't even want to tell you about this one, because that may mean fewer jeans left for us (yes, there will be denim at this sale.) Uniqlo's sample sale starts Wednesday, the 26th, at 9AM, so nurse that Christmas hangover with these prices:

Knit tops- $5.00

Sweaters- $10.00

Woven Tops- $10.00

Bottoms- $10.00

Cashmere- $15.00

Jackets- $20.00

The sale ends when the goods are all snatched up.

Uniqlo

546 Broadway

Our beloved Lynn Yaeger has put together a perfectly loony Under $5 Gift Guide this week, and we thought we'd follow her lead with some picks under $10.

First, you can make your own stocking to stuff with directions from Cathy Moore.

And now, to stuff that baby:

Urban Outfitters' Snow Globe Frame, $6.

Shrink-to-Fit Rope Bracelets from The Spoon Sisters, $3.50 each.

When we get bored of taking demented quizzes and playing scrabble on Facebook, we like to occupy ourselves waste away our life customizing fantasy sneakers on Nike.com. For Christmas, we're hoping someone will read this and give us a $130 gift certificate to the website. Then, if we can ever stop revising the kicks, we will actually get to wear them. If anyone at Nike is reading this, we'd like to request that you bring back the infrared, which a wise sneakerhead friend recently described as "the best made-up color ever." There are some cool new design features, though, most notably the option to have crocodile- or alligator-embossed leather on the base and mudguard.

Thank God we only ever bet fake money, because we were positive the guest judge was going to be Kirstie Alley or Valerie Bertinelli last night on Project Runway. Instead it was a guy from the Gap. Boring!

So, after a couple of weeks of lame challenges, Bravo brought back the magic with a bunch of ladies who had been real fat in the eighties, then had slipped into comas for a few decades, during which they lost 50 or 100 pounds, and then they woke up, still wearing their favorite, now gigantic, heinous blazers from the Working Girl days.

Seriously, that's your favorite outfit? Now that you don't have to shop in the fat lady store, that's still your favorite outfit??

Anyway, the designer had to work with this crap and these not ideal models, and they came up with some bizarre shit. Hot transformer HIV guy had to leave because his mouth blew up like a Japanese cartoon character. It was sad and we were shocked that it didn't make us cry. Wilmer did cry, however. Unsurprising. He was so proud of his insane Fulton Mall outfit. Whatever. Pass the joint this way.

Perhaps these are a more appropriate birthday present than Christmas, but they're on our list anyway. We can't wait. Fred Flare is going to make your life real easy. It's the best place for stocking stuffers, gifts for teenagers, or women who act like teenagers. The zodiac earrings are $10 a pair.

Bodanna, the East Village's coolest ceramics shop/non-profit, is one of our favorite places to buy gifts, especially of the house-warming variety. The business is run with the help of inner city teens, who do apprenticeships in the studio and in the shop. And while we love a good cause, we wouldn't buy vases and mugs and bowls that weren't great-looking. Every morning, we drink coffee out of the Morning Mug, the perfect big, comforting cup. ($25 each).

Bodanna

125 East 7th Street

(212) 388-0078

Come and knock on our door...

So, last night on Project Runway, we learned that Wilmer Valderrama (a/k/a "Ricky") speaks fluent Modern Dance, which is closely related to the language spoken by crazy fucking art yogis, and therefore was able to communicate with Elisa by saying things like "sculpt the fabric". We also found out that the Korean Overachiever is a passive-aggressive freak, and therefore is poised to star as this year's villain. The fat costume maker went home, duh. Jillian is even skinnier than a model and dresses like she's the fourth roommate on Three's Company, yet somehow the judges found her designs "modern," and named her the winner. Donna Karan likes plain dresses. The squinty-faced serial killer guy did a Tim Gunn impression that made us long for the days of Santino.

Do you have any Jew friends who are extremely hip, and have only mid-century modern lamps in their houses, and you never know what to give them? Well, if you have 200 bucks, you should get them Walteria Living's "Last Match" menorah, which is actually cool. Actually. Cool. Menorah. Whoa.

Full disclosure: The founders of Lifebooker, a new website which is like Open Table, but for spas, are friends of Threadster's. For the holidays, they have gift certificates, which means you can give your mom a massage without a) rubbing her anywhere, or b) having to figure out whether she wants reflexology or aromatherapy. Or she could decide to book some acupuncture or a fake tan or a Brazilian—ew—instead.

If you're not feeling the holiday spirit just yet, you might be more interested in this link, which tells you how to get $50 off any spa treatment through the website. You look like you could use an Ayurvedic Baltic Mud Wrap or something.