Project Runway: The Gastric Bypass Episode

Posted by Nina Lalli at 4:47 PM, December 13, 2007

Thank God we only ever bet fake money, because we were positive the guest judge was going to be Kirstie Alley or Valerie Bertinelli last night on Project Runway. Instead it was a guy from the Gap. Boring!

So, after a couple of weeks of lame challenges, Bravo brought back the magic with a bunch of ladies who had been real fat in the eighties, then had slipped into comas for a few decades, during which they lost 50 or 100 pounds, and then they woke up, still wearing their favorite, now gigantic, heinous blazers from the Working Girl days.

Seriously, that's your favorite outfit? Now that you don't have to shop in the fat lady store, that's still your favorite outfit??

Anyway, the designer had to work with this crap and these not ideal models, and they came up with some bizarre shit. Hot transformer HIV guy had to leave because his mouth blew up like a Japanese cartoon character. It was sad and we were shocked that it didn't make us cry. Wilmer did cry, however. Unsurprising. He was so proud of his insane Fulton Mall outfit. Whatever. Pass the joint this way.

Project Runway: We Hate These People, and They Hate Each Other!

Posted by Nina Lalli at 1:50 PM, December 6, 2007

Come and knock on our door...

So, last night on Project Runway, we learned that Wilmer Valderrama (a/k/a "Ricky") speaks fluent Modern Dance, which is closely related to the language spoken by crazy fucking art yogis, and therefore was able to communicate with Elisa by saying things like "sculpt the fabric". We also found out that the Korean Overachiever is a passive-aggressive freak, and therefore is poised to star as this year's villain. The fat costume maker went home, duh. Jillian is even skinnier than a model and dresses like she's the fourth roommate on Three's Company, yet somehow the judges found her designs "modern," and named her the winner. Donna Karan likes plain dresses. The squinty-faced serial killer guy did a Tim Gunn impression that made us long for the days of Santino.

Wait, Is Joey Fat One on Project Runway?

Posted by Nina Lalli at 4:57 PM, October 11, 2007

No, that's Kevin, a Jersey-born and bred Italian American who loves Alexander McQueen. There's also a fake Wilmer Valderrama who says gloves are a must. In fact, the season 4 cast of Project Runway includes several gayer versions of real celebrities. Bring it on, kids. Set your DVR for 10PM, November 14.

Guide to Style: Zzzzzz

Posted by Nina Lalli at 4:10 PM, September 7, 2007

It hurts to say this, but this is a newspaper, and we have to put our personal biases aside sometimes. We love Tim Gunn, and were rooting for his new show, Guide to Style. We still are, in fact, but so far, things aren't looking good. We watched the first episode last night and found ourselves missing Stacy and Clinton from What Not to Wear (TLC), a very similar show with far more entertaining hosts. tim and Veronica don't seem to have a lot of chemistry, and what happened to her hair?

Tonight: Set Your DVR and Carry On!

Posted by Nina Lalli at 4:31 PM, September 6, 2007

The cable man came to Threadster HQ today, thank God. Suddenly, our little slum feels like paradise. And it's just in time, because Tim Gunn will be teaching us how to not look like a dumpy old whore tonight at 10PM on Bravo.