Here's the thing. I know I'm no great thinker. My entertainment choices are nothing to be proud of. If I had DVR, I would probably tape The Real Housewives of Orange County. When I see a heinous accident on the highway, my urge is to pull over and take photos. But Project Runway (which I love and will watch as long as it's on, despite the headline of this post) is beginning to offend my intellect.
It's not just the blatancy of the sponsorships/product placements. I can accept the fact that I'm pretty much watching an hour-long commercial, but can't it at least be a commercial for something fashion-related? Can it not involve The House of Spandex, for God's sake? Can Tim Gunn not be moved to say things like "Is there some way to mitigate this? Maybe with these feathers?"
Ahem. So, in case you missed it, the designers made a bunch of sparkly hot pants for some scary false-boobed lady(?) wrestlers last night. Ricky's pile of crap was apparently less good than all the other shiny vomit on the runway, so he went home. And the truly amazing thing was, he didn't seem to be crying. Does he only cry out of joy and inspiration and pride? But not when things suck? Weird!
Here is a picture of the mean Asian randomly sewing a bunch of denim onto the bottom of a jacket she probably snatched out of someone else's arms to begin with because, as she likes to announce, she's competitive.
Well, even though the fat guy made a dress that would only be appropriate for the love interest in a Color Me Badd video, he's hanging in for another week. It seems Bravo couldn't resist a bitch-off between Jillian and Victorya's heinous coat-dress-things. Jillian's might have been even uglier, but at least it seemed harder to make, and there you have it.
Other things that happened in this episode:
The designers were again forced to run many yards for no reason except to amuse you.
Wilmer cried tears of joy about seven times, and won for the first time.
Jillian wore a weird skirt that made us fear she might start salsa dancing or something. She also cried.
During a break, the gay version of that Levi's commercial aired. You know, where the guy is pulling on his jeans and the whole building crumbles and he's left with a hot chick. Except it was a dude in a skin tight T-shirt this time. It still didn't make any sense. But then again, we're old.
Posted by Nina Lalli at 3:51 PM, November 29, 2007
Last night, the Project Runway producers thought they figured out a way to please their fans, some of whom may be straight females or gay men. Not the Tiki Barber part, but the part with the man models in their panties. Unfortunately, watching people try to make suits is really boring.
The news of this episode: muscle-faced model guy is HIV positive and has never felt better. He also won the challenge, but it barely counted. Joey Fat One is now Joey Straight One. His geometric facial hair survived for another week, unfortunately, but Carmen did not. Thank God. We couldn't look at her giant chokers for another minute. Ms. Polymorphic Spitmark will slobber on her drapings, but chooses only to touch one male. Wilmer cried hysterically again, Nina and Michael are still as orange as possible, and the gay teenager loves Asians. See you next week.
Posted by Nina Lalli at 8:37 AM, November 27, 2007
Last Wednesday, also known as Thanksgiving Eve, when we were out with a friend who believes this to be the greatest drinking night of the year, episode two of Project Runway happened.
We finally caught up, and guess what? It turned out to be the episode of inappropriate weeping. We're so down for that. First, the fat guy cried because Sarah Jessica Parker showed up. He moved to New York because of Sex and the City. Oh God.
Then Wilmer Valderrama cried hysterically during what seemed to be one interview, but they kept showing it, giving the impression that he cries every time they talk to him. Bravo!
Then, on the runway, Carmen (like the opera?) produced an astonishing ugly cry face when asked whether she or her partner, the queeny teenager, should go home. It was an easy question since he was the leader on their team, and their jacket sucked because he has bad taste, but somehow she couldn't handle it. That's a good sign for us. In the end, neither was voted off the island, even though the combined effect of their hairdos was criminal. It was the boy named Marion. Whatever.
Also, on your next job interview, try not to leave the celebrity hanging, like Joey Fat One did. Unless you're trying to be hilarious. Then do that.
Posted by Nina Lalli at 1:05 PM, November 16, 2007
First off, dear readers, we apologize for not being able to bring you our Runway reactions yesterday. There were technical reasons for this that are beyond our comprehension, but we're here for you now.
The first episode of Season 4 was, as always, a lot to take in. With so many designers to meet, the drama hasn't developed yet. But thank God for Elisa, right? As soon as we heard about the marionettes and saw her mushing some chiffon into the grass, we knew this was our girl. ("I decided to imbue it with a natural element.") And, even though her dress was "pooing fabric," we knew the producers couldn't let her go either. ("so I decided to create a cascade, almost like water, or magic... a haiku of a cut.") Thanks, Bravo!
Our man friend was all sad because the pretty girl got voted off, but guess what, buddy? This show is not for straight dudes (although they love it).
But, crazy as we are, we can't say we think Elisa will win this thing. In fact, that runway show seemed like a whole lotta crap. We knew we loved the tiny gay guy from watching his submission video:
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