Stupid Shit: Mike Ditka's Pork Chops

It's a proud day when your friends see really stupid, gross shit and immediately think of you. We have arrived, folks. And now Ill share with you, some really shameful "celebrity" food endorsements, via A.V. Club. For example, there's Smokey Robinson Down Home Pot Roast, a frozen dinner thing. It seems that he had a special operation to replace his eyeballs with a cats, or something. Mmm, pot roast. Check out Mike Ditka's "Coach Cut" pork chops, Jeff Foxworthy's BBQ sauce, and more here.

Stupid Shit: An Expensive Wooden Spoon

This invention could have been on our Christmas List—a spoon that latches onto the edge of a pot, so you don't have to worry about where to put it down once it's covered with sauce. Unfortunately, it costs $27. The ladle version is $50! We will happily stick with our sad old, burnt spoons, the handle of which have been used to stir paint. We're simple like that.

That said, this website does have lots of good, cheap gift options. Check it.

Stupid Shit: Premiumization to be Huge in '08

Much more hilarious than year-end wrap-ups and awards are the predictions that start rolling in about next year. for example: Next year, trendwatching.com tells us, like this year, "premiumization" will be the thing. You know, like when someone makes four T-shirts and then each one costs a billion dollars, and then you get jumped for it, but you kind of deserved it for being such a sucker? Anyway, that applies to food also. Duh.

As trendwatching puts it: "no industry, no sector, no product will escape a premium version in the next 12 months." Fantastic!

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Stupid Shit: Turducken for the Cats?

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As a teenager, I remember getting all Seventh Heaven one Thanksgiving and forsaking the warmth of my own home to bring a plate of turkey to the homeless dude I used to smoke cigarettes with. At this point, most of the homeless people I know are cats. If I were extra crazy, I might bring the neighborhood strays little bowls of cat turducken this year, but I'm pretty sure I can resist. Let's hope.

Stupid Shit: Squirt it Into Your Baby

We've been staring at this thing all week and still don't quite get it. It's some kind of baby-feeder for "modern parents." As a friend put it, "it appears to hold the food and then you squirt it into your baby. it's like the opposite of spitting up." Have we really evolved to the point where we can no longer be seen with spoons?

Squirt, from Boon, will be available next month. The price remains unknown.

Stupid Shit: Spring Water, Ready to Freeze!

We're feeling the slightest bit cranky today -- perhaps it has something to do with the fact that we're locked inside with the air conditioning and suffering from the slow death that comes of life in a cubicle...

Anyhoo, we thought we'd take advantage of this mood to launch a new category on EfV called "Stupid Shit for Prosumers."

We have to thank Serious Eats and Print Magazine for inspiring this outlet for our own bitterness. Today, Serious Eats featured Ice Rocks, spring water ice cubes from the company WaterBank of America. Sorry -- they don't come frozen, just sealed in trays, ready for your freezer.

In their own words:


"ICEROCKSョ are secured, ready-to-be-frozen ice cubes made with high-quality spring water. These cubes, to be consumed within two (2) years, are hermetically packaged in disposable containers. ICEROCKSョ uses a patented technology, providing a container of refreshing ice cubes that are pure and hygienic.

To enjoy the fresh taste of ICEROCKSョ simply freeze, remove the plastic seal, and pop the ice cubes into your favorite beverage!

ICEROCKSョ is sold in its unfrozen state (liquid), making it a product offering substantial savings in terms of delivery costs, in that it does not require trucks to be refrigerated for transportation."


Wow. This is going to be a tough act to follow. What makes it really special is all the stuff about being "green" on the website.

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