Wait, What? Half of Britons Have Been Injured by Biscuits

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This week, the Daily Telegraph reported that 25 million British adults have been injured by tea biscuits. No, it's not April 1st (we had to check). It turns out that there are many, many ways to hurt yourself while having a cookie and a cup of tea, including poking yourself in the eye with a biscuit; reaching into scalding tea to retrieve a biscuit; falling off a chair while reaching for the biscuit tin; breaking a tooth on a particularly crunchy biscuit; choking on a biscuit; or being bitten by a pet or other wild animal who is after your biscuit. Apparently, one man became trapped in wet concrete after wading in to retrieve a wayward biscuit.


After learning about the scourge of cookie-related injuries in Great Britain, Rocky, a chocolate biscuit company, commissioned a study to find out which kinds of confections are the most dangerous. After testing 15 different kinds of cookies, the Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation found that custard creams are the most dangerous, and chocolate cookies (like Rocky) are the third-most dangerous. So much for studies being biased in favor of the group that funds the research! Jaffa Cakes were ruled the safest.

So take care whenever you find yourself in the proximity of custard creams. The more you know....


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