Monsanto May Be an Evil Empire, But Its Employee Benefits Are Great

hank_scorpio.jpg
When bad companies are good employers.
In the latest issue of Fortune Magazine, agricultural mega-corp Monsanto is named among the "100 Best Companies to Work For," an annual list. The company was recognized for its excellent retirement plans, onsite fitness centers and employee wellness programs, paid time off, and flexible work schedules, which may come as a surprise to those of us who know Monsanto best for its aggressive and unscrupulous worldwide merchandising of genetically modified seed, broadleaf herbicide, and recombinant bovine growth hormone. A Facebook page entitled "Millions Against Monsanto" boasts, at last count, 77,706 members (not millions, but still). Most recently, the company's GM corn was linked to liver and kidney damage.

Like the evil Globex Corporation in The Simpsons episode where Homer goes to work for exceedingly affable supervillain Hank Scorpio, Monsanto is one of those companies that makes up for its unethical business practices (such as "technology fees" charged to small family farms who plant its YieldGard insect-protected corn) by killing its employees with kindness. It's interesting when you consider that companies like Whole Foods, which positions itself as environmentally and socially responsible (notwithstanding, among other indiscretions, that whole Wild Oats scandal), treats its employees like naughty fat camp kids, doling out discounts to those who maintain a "healthy" weight.

Monsanto employees reportedly say they're proud to work for a company they see as "feeding the world," which sounds like as much of a crock of shit as being proud to work for a pricey organic supermarket chain. A good 401K or in-office massage can ease any tortured conscience, apparently. Business hammocks all around...

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