Eight Foods More Trouble to Eat Than They're Worth; Plus Some Replies on Twitter
Some foods take a lot of effort to eat, some are extremely messy -- or both. Others are dexterously challenging -- like trying to eat chicken wings with a fork and a butter knife. Here, then, is a list of items that are not worth the effort it takes to eat them.
1. Bone Marrow
The massive majority of the "food" on the plate that sits before you is inedible; it's merely over-baked bones. Yes, you paid $14 or so to get at the marrow, but the marrow is a shrunken, shriveled blob of jelly that sits at the bottom of the hole like a baby fallen in a well. Does the restaurant provide expensive bone-marrow spoons? Probably not. Ten minutes of effort may get you enough rancid goo to spread on a single piece of toast.
Why would anyone make a cookie as hard as a rock? Truth be told, these adamantine biscuits were invented centuries ago to be dipped in wine, and they were twice-baked so that no crumbs would fall into your vino. But nowadays people treat them as cookies, except you have to put 10 times more effort into chewing them, so that your jaw aches and you're in constant danger of losing a filling or chipping a tooth.
3. Peanuts in the Shell
Goobers in the shell are a mixed blessing. Do they taste better than peanuts out of the shell? No! Are they harder to get at? Yes! But it's not the initial effort that makes eating them a pain in the ass; it's the extra work you'll have to do cleaning up the mess, as cracked shells and detritus fly everywhere, forcing you to reach for the vacuum or the broom.
When I was a kid, we debated whether you should eat the seeds or spit them out. Spitting them out always won, as it did when we argued about the same issue vis-à-vis watermelon. Of course, now we know you're supposed to eat the actual seeds, which can be strewn over a salad or used as a colorful counterpoint to vanilla ice cream. The question remains: Don't the seeds completely get in the way of enjoying the fruit? And who wants to chew up so many seeds?
5. Rib Sandwich
Down South, they'll put almost anything between two slices of white or whole wheat, including pork ribs and fried chicken. But how the hell are you supposed to eat these bony sandwiches? Sure you can work them around in your mouth, letting your teeth and tongue tear off little bits of bread and meat, but you usually end up taking the things apart and eating the components separately, with the bread slices acting as a sort of edible napkin. So, if the thing is intended to be taken apart, why call it a sandwich?