Top Chef: 'It's Embarrassing, Like Living in a Trailer Park'

Bravo

Morning in the Top Chef house. Amanda sits on a giant rubber ball and talks about gravity. Kenny complains that he feels like he's second fiddle on "the Angelo show." Angelo confesses that he doesn't like being a bottom on the bottom because it puts "a damper" on his mind. Arnold claims that "people want to throw each other under the bus already," though maybe "each other" just means Angelo.

And then Johnny Iuzzini shows up, looking like he wandered in from a Stray Cats reunion show. Is he here to promote Just Desserts, his new show with Gail? Yes, yes he is, but he's also here to make the chefs wet themselves by demanding that, for the Quickfire Challenge, they make him a pie. "What did I get myself into?" Tim moans, looking as if he's just signed up for a role in a snuff film.

Angelo starts thinking about curries, because everything he makes must have some sort of Asian component; Lynne says she may be older but can still cook; Tracey does criminal things to some blueberries; and Ed calls Alex a slob and says his "thought process is underdeveloped," and then proceeds to stick celery in a banana cream pie.

Johnny likes Amanda's apple rosemary bourbon pie, but doesn't like Amanda's self-congratulatory "I'm not even a pastry chef!" "My grandma's not a pastry chef, either, and she can make a pie," he retorts, as fists pump in living rooms across the country. He decides he's least fond of Alex's white chocolate-chèvre pie, which is more like a quiche, and Tracey's burnt but undercooked blueberry thing. "Nobody wants to be on the bottom," she tells us. "It's embarrassing, like living in a trailer park." Or like performing like a trained seal on reality television.

Johnny ultimately rewards Kenny for his bananas Foster pie, and Angelo looks like he's trying to pass a kidney stone.