Shut Your Piehole! Desserts (Other Than Pie) That Deserve to Be the Next Big Trend
Over the past several weeks, pie has been repeatedly touted as the next big trend in desserts. Yes, it's time for the cupcake to disappear within Dante's Third Circle of Hell, but is pie, America's iconic diner food, worthy of being the next big trend? No, and here's why.
Has no one stopped to think that this is actually all one big scam, and everyone is singing the praises of pie only for the obvious reason that it's holiday pie season? What better way to sell pies for Thanksgiving than to create a buzz about them? Even Tina Fey knows about the pie lobby.
Yes, New York City is home to several high-quality pie shops selling artisanal pies made with local ingredients (and, of course, anything local and artisanal equals a trend alert). But what's so great about pie is that it's a classic. It's not cutesy or wildly inventive. So don't ruin it by making trendy, gourmet versions of it.
Plus, do people even really love pie that much outside of autumn? When the website Jezebel ran its March Madness-style Pie vs. Cake tournament last spring, the winning pie wasn't even a real pie, but a cheesecake. Jezebel tried to claim cheesecake as pie, but that's a hard sell when you have "cake" in the name, no?
Besides the oft-cited macaron contender, Popsicles and Whoopie Pies have also both been championed as potential desserts to upset the reign of the cupcake, but the former is too seasonal of a product while the latter is too limited in terms of flavor varieties.
So, without further ado, a (semi-serious) list of better future dessert trends: