Our 10 Worst Foodie Xmas Presents

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Awful Gift #10: Stonerware Apron With Marijuana-Leaf Imprint, Broadway Panhandler
Everyone knows that chefs like to get stoned (or "baked," as the apron has it), which helps relieve the tedium of chopping vegetables for hours at a time. But this guy doesn't need to wear an apron to show us he's stoned -- his vacant gaze and severed left hand are obvious tip-offs.


'Tis the time of year to punish your foodie friends with Xmas gifts. Why not tell them you care with something really horrible? Think of what a hit these things would be at a regifting party!


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Awful Gift #9: Chocolate Bathroom Scale, uncommongoods.com
What better gift to discourage that overweight chocolate-loving friend than a scale plastered with pictures of chocolates? As if that weren't enough, a series of fey salutations have replaced the five-pound hash marks, with such self-compliments as "I'm so amazing" and "super-hot bod." Besides, haven't you always wanted to stand barefoot on a box of chocolates?


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Awful Gift #8: Big Top Cupcake Silicon Bakeware, bigtopcupcake.com
If you know someone who loves cupcakes more than life itself, consider the Big Top Cupcake. A set (no, wait, two sets!) of floppy plastic pans allows you to make an actual full-size cake that looks like a cupcake. After it's baked, you'll have to frost it with about 10 pounds of frosting, and find a gigantic gumball to go on top.


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Awful Gift #7: Banana Stand, curious
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For those of us with gigantic kitchens that have plenty of wasted and empty counter space, what could be better than this banana stand? It holds the fruit out invitingly, and, if you have the choice between reaching for that expensive box of fattening chocolates and just reaching for an inexpensive banana as a "healthy" snack, you might just reach for the banana. Married couples: Consider incorporating this device into your lovemaking.


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