Why a Motorized Shopping Cart Isn't a Good Getaway Vehicle

Categories: Absurdity, Shockey

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Speed Racer, it is not.
File this under most ridiculous food theft ever. A Florida man was charged with stealing 11 packages of meat from a local Winn-Dixie supermarket. Unsurprisingly, he got caught because his getaway vehicle was a motorized shopping cart.

According to the Sun Sentinel, the 58-year-old man, Louis Lorensen, not only stole the meat from the store, but knocked over a four-year-old boy during his flight from the scene of the crime. When he was finally apprehended at a nearby gas station, he became belligerent and told the officer, "I ain't no punk, and I ain't going down without a fight." Then later at the police station, Lorensen threatened to punch all the officers in the face. He's a real culinary Robin Hood!

What the article doesn't explain, though, is what cut of meat Lorensen was stealing. Meat theft is apparently on the rise everywhere (a South Carolina man recently got 10 years for stealing an $80 New York strip steak). Still, though, stealing 11 packages of meat seems a bit conspicuous. Winn-Dixie might not be peddling caviar, but surely there must be easier foods to shoplift successfully if you're opting for a motorized shopping cart over a getaway car.


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