Five Reasons You Should Hate Taco Bell, Besides the Lack of Real Meat

Categories: My Rant, Sietsema

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This is Mexican food? It looks like a horny Chihuahua splooged on it.


1. Meat, schmeat -- are you ever certain of the meat supply at any fast-food outlet? A few years ago, there was a website that claimed the average McDonald's hamburger had been lodged in permafrost for around three years before it was thawed and served at an outlet. The rancid meat explains the odd smell you associate with stepping into a McDonald's.

2. When you order something made with ground meat (we used to call it "mystery meat" in school), you get exactly what you deserve. I'm much more annoyed by the other ingredients at Taco Bell -- the gummy flour tortillas that turn into glue in your mouth, or the weird micro-"cheese" curls that seem to be poking out of every orifice: The white ones look exactly like pinworms.

3. The astonishing lack of spice in nearly everything you get at TB (that's Taco Bell, not tuberculosis -- though maybe you'll get that, too, if you linger long enough). And the little plastic packets containing what tastes like Tabasco -- when there are zillions of authentic Mexican hot sauces available -- don't help at all.

4. What Taco Bell has done to Mexican food, which -- with its dependence on minimally refined corn products, beans, and fresh vegetables -- must be one of the healthiest cuisines on earth, is criminal! The chilies, cumin, oregano, scallions, and other herbs and spices seem to be entirely missing, and in their place: bad mayo.

5. Have you ever seen a Mexican eating in Taco Bell?


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18 comments
Jenny26
Jenny26

Wow.... I've worked for taco bell 10 years and i have to say you don't know what the fuck your talking about. And for the record u racist people of latino decent are in and out of my restaurant from open to close. And for my final thought tb has never claimed to be authentic Mexican cuisine it has always claimed to be Mexican inspired. Hater. Oh and one more thing!!! If u did your research u would know the person who staked false claims about our "USDA" approved beef (who dropped her lawsuit due to lack of true facts) was a disgruntled EX employee.

Tiarafitzpatrick
Tiarafitzpatrick

Do you ever see a chinese person eating at chinese restaurant ? Nuf said !

globalwarmingmyass
globalwarmingmyass

I wish I had enough time to write a freakin article on Taco Bell. Honestly get a life, you obviously had a bad encounter at the place. Get over it.

Conspiracy Query
Conspiracy Query

The Illuminati keep dollar menu fat food joints around so intelligent poor and homeless don't actually starve to death. Keep people fed and in America's case fat and they won't rebel against the power elite.

Krinklekut
Krinklekut

Mayo? Sorry not at TB. Another Hater rant. You sound like a lot of fun.

recombust
recombust

Ahh! Blaspheme! The Taco Bell test kitchens are roamed by geniuses! The BLT soft taco, although a commercial flop, was inspired. And the chalupa represents years of effort to create the ultimate on-the-go- taco-eating convenience: a crunchy-ish shell that doesn't crack and spill the contents, delivering the perfect mouthful of an aromatic, enriched carbohydrate vessel filled with consistency-controlled animal flesh, bean product, "vegetables," sour cream (the magic ingredient), and the best condiment-in-a-packet ever, the Mild Sauce. And of course, the best cocktail of bacterial inhibitors and food-grade gums available to modern cuisine. But oooh, let's get serious now, and talk about Popeye's...

Intrepid Eater
Intrepid Eater

Both this article and the comments it inspired are further evidence that food ignorance in the U.S. is rampant, even in a supposedly cosmopolitan place like NYC.While Sietsema's critique of Taco Bell is mostly right on the money, to compare the contents of the chain's "hot sauce" packets to Tabasco is absurd. Tabasco is an excellent product, as it is pure -- no thickeners, sugar or other additives. Read the label. Discerning palates realize it's far better than many of the highly lauded, trendy hot sauces now flooding the market. And those of you defending the slop the chain pedals, I feel sorry for you. Your palates must have committed suicide years ago, as Felix Unger would have said.

the only green is money
the only green is money

im mexican and i love taco bell. the cheesy gordita crunch is the bees knees and the crunch wrap supreme w/ volcano sauce is the truth. if anything taco bell should be praised for its creativity, soo many options with only 5 main ingredients.

simplynonna ♥♥♥♥
simplynonna ♥♥♥♥

Taco Hell has its purpose. Been eating too much garbage fast food-go to Taco Hell and clean yourself out. Ayy caramba! Their "meat" and politicians have something in common-they're both fake and not what they seem to be... And u buy both!

incognito
incognito

Hey, compared to Tabasco which tastes like dyed vinegar the taco bell hot sauce is actually quite decent.

Hobbes
Hobbes

Taco Bell is great. If you are going to write a hate piece then pick on the politicians that are driving your state and country into the dirt ( while collecting nice pensions). I think I'll go get a Nachos Supreme right now with some fire sauce.

Krinklekut
Krinklekut

Just checked TB website to double check - no mayo..... guess you were thinking sour cream, which had melted so well - it must be mayo then? and they phased out pin worms long ago little girl....

Jeff
Jeff

Agreed! The chemical...ahem..I mean "ingredients" cause various cancers, heart disease and tons of other very avoidable conditions! Ignorance ALWAYS comes at a price...no pun intended.

JK
JK

Tabasco tastes like shit. Vinegar shit.

simplynonna ♥♥♥♥
simplynonna ♥♥♥♥

Actually, politicians don't need those "nice pensions",they're already millionaires and billionaires. The best that money can buy.

Jeff
Jeff

The best WE all have to pay for!

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