Our 10 Best Restaurants for a Break-Up
5. A bar. Any bar. Look, while it would be nice to get a meal out of this scenario, it would probably be even nicer to just drink to oblivion and then fall effortlessly into a dreamless, forgiving sleep. And if it's not in your own bed, then so much the better.
4. Caliente Cab Co. On a similar note, why not opt for a place where the food is so bad that you'll be driven to drink anyway? This works particularly well for both vindictive son-of-a-bitch types and those who operate on the assumption that awful food will provide an easy segue to "sayonara." Also, the crowd here tends to be somewhat vocal, particularly when lubricated by endless shots of Patrón, so they're unlikely either to hear what's happening or give a shit. And given that romance isn't really in the air here anyway, you're probably in good company. 61 Seventh Avenue South, 212-243-8517
3. Char No. 4. Another sound option for the guilt-ridden gourmand. Full of both top-shelf brown liquor and excellent food, this Cobble Hill spot allows the perpetrator to ply his or her victim with the elixir of the gods, wait until it's made everything nice and soft around the edges, and then move in for the (apologetic) kill. And because it's a bar, this is nothing the staff hasn't seen before. Most likely they'll be happy to provide something additional to dull the pain. The lamb pastrami sandwich works particularly well for this purpose. 196 Smith Street, Brooklyn, 718-643-2106
2. Vesuvio Restaurant and Pizza. According to the Department of Health, this Bay Ridge establishment has the worst inspection score of any restaurant in the five boroughs. Ringing in at a whopping 101 points, it all but promises you and your date a fine meal made with ingredients sourced from dented cans and prepared free from the hassle of working thermometers, correct holding temperatures, and properly sterilized equipment. Hair restraints and personal hygiene also seem to be optional at Vesuvio, something that has further endeared it to its burgeoning rodent population. And to you, you special person! 7303 Third Avenue, 718-745-0222