The 5 Most Annoying Types of People to Be Seated Next to at a Restaurant

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Going out to eat should be enjoyable. And for the most part it is. But beyond the matters of food and service, so much of the dining experience can be based upon whom you're sitting near. And these are the five types of people you definitely don't want to be seated near.


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7dayjuicediet.com
Loud and Sloppy Eaters: Sorry, soup slurpers and dribblers, loud chewers, and garglers of the world. It's really hard to enjoy a meal in peace when it sounds like you've got a mild case of the flu.

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Visual Image
PDA-philes: It is uncomfortable to see you making out, and it is even more uncomfortable when you reach up your girlfriend's skirt under the table for everyone to see. That napkin really isn't hiding much of anything. Please, please, please leave the sexploits to the bedroom. Food + sex = skeevy.

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gopaultech.com
Drunk People: The fact of life is that drunk people are, for the most part, too vocal and obnoxious. If you're doing any of the following, you shouldn't be at a restaurant, but home in bed: slurring your words rudely to your waiter (and you are being rude, you just don't realize it), knocking over glasses, and falling out of chairs. Also, that's why God created bars.


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powerfulwords.wordpress.com
Parents of Babies and Toddlers: Understandably, sitters are expensive and it's hard to control your kids outside of the home. But you know what, that's why you should leave them at home! Your baby might be cute, but no one thinks he's as adorable as you do, especially when he begins to cry or climb onto the next table. And if you let your kid cry, we actually hate you a lot more than the kid. He at least can't help himself. But you can -- by putting down your cocktail and heading home.

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blog.thehouseofbachelorette.com
Sorority Sisters/Bachelorette Parties: Welcome to the Sisterhood of the Raging Estrogen. We're all sooooo excited for sisterhood and girl power. But do you really need to shriek and giggle octaves above everyone else? Do you have to giggle nonstop? Do you have to take 10,000 photos of you goofily smiling? At least turn the flash off! (Same applies for baby shower, only substitute cooing for shrieking.)

OK, who are we kidding? These aren't the most annoying people to encounter in a restaurant. These are the most annoying people in any social situation!


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58 comments
Guest
Guest

The correct answer is: white people who photograph their food, loudly appraise it, find it all to be "nice".

Movielover
Movielover

I hate the bratty children.  Really, as you say, more their stupid, inconsiderate parents.  If you can't control them, leave the shitty little bastards at home.  Can't afford a babysitter?  Stay home.  Your brats are your problem.

Igé Ramos
Igé Ramos

...and not to forget, bloggers who take photos of their food with their iPhones. ;-0

Grgryglzr
Grgryglzr

troubled by the misogynistic tone taken in the final entry.

Volcanonowadays
Volcanonowadays

I imagine they're just as annoyed sitting next to you and your lack of depth.

Everybody's Right/Wrong
Everybody's Right/Wrong

Restaurants exist only as a place to eat, and avoid all human interaction. Yeah, sometimes children act out. It's in their nature to act out. But I don't want to experience that. Some people do legitimately suck. But heaven forbid I'm put in a position where I have to talk to the irritating sorority girls at the table next to me. Are people sometimes problematic? Yes. But if you go out into the world and accept that, outside of facebook and your blog-roll, people are different from you, then maybe you can develop a sense of humor about the whole thing and stop being so wound-up about it all.

PS - I'm an introvert who has all kinds of trouble being sociable, and even I thought this article was wasted energy and in no way beneficial to society at large. Even the Roast Beef Kazenzakises of the world, I hope, would agree.

aromes
aromes

Laughs. This is funny. Indeed, sloppy eaters are something.

Poggy
Poggy

There's a sixth type of irritating diner: The kind of superior cow that spends her time in restaurants watching everyone else and putting them into categories to lampoon in their blog. I wonder if your every public action was scrutinized, would we be writing a list of irritating things you do?

Gkhd
Gkhd

That's right, it would be a shame if acting like a sociopath were to become unacceptable once again.

Wagthedad
Wagthedad

Being the father of two small children, I have to say that you lower your standards as regards what bothers you in a restaurant once you know what you had when you were childfree.  While we're leaving the kids at home, let's leave out the annoying old people, ugly people, fat people, and epileptics.  The last thing I want to see is some guy spazzing on the floor and drooling...

So...your vision of a perfect restaurant dinner would be no noise whatsoever, hushed conversation and everyone falling asleep by 9:00.  That's the way the world would have looked if the Germans had won the war. 

Movielover
Movielover

Your vision is a little drastic.  Just leave untrained, asshole children who act like their parents never taught them any manners at home.  The rest of us will make do.

Nick
Nick

Agreed.

That's why God invented home-cooked meals.

Sandiyan
Sandiyan

U are such a horrible self centered person..

Vashthep
Vashthep

TomKarpik,It is actually polite to slurp in some cultures; For instance in Japan it is a sign that one are enjoying their soup.

Movielover
Movielover

How about farting loudly as a post-enjoyment indication?  Belching?  Pooping on the banquette if it's really good?

TomKarpik
TomKarpik

Yes, and in other countries it is *impolite*. Abide by the cultural norms of the country you're in. That's a basic level of respect.

Johnnyhala
Johnnyhala

I once had a group of frat boys who were carrying (and conversing with) a life-sized cutout of Justin Bieber be seated next to me.

It was horrific.

Mike
Mike

It IS annoying when the world doesn't revolve around me.  

Gary Chow
Gary Chow

You can add these to the list: people talking loudly on mobile phones; people being rude to waiters; people who complain excessively about their food and then leave most of it on their plate; people taking photos of their food.

Movielover
Movielover

The cell phone talkers are awful.  Not only do they have to talk on the cell, they shout into it.  They seem low class.

puck30
puck30

"people being rude to waiters" Yep! That one does frost me too!

Thedon
Thedon

I hate it when people take pictures of their food. 

puck30
puck30

I have to admit I'm guilty here. I walked into a Pizzaria last month and got a slice that was huge, I couldn't believe it and had to take a picture. Yes it's still on the phone.

Countshockula
Countshockula

Then you probably shouldn't be reading food journalism. Someone has to take those pictures.

Akenanubis
Akenanubis

I have another one to add. Guys who take their soon-to- be-ex-girlfriends to a restaurant to drop the bombshell and dump them hoping that she won't make a scene like she would in private and the guy can eek out. It's right up there wityh the PDA and guys, there's ALWAYS a scene. Thing is, nobody, least of all strangers, wants in on the action.

Lunaangel032@gmail.com
Lunaangel032@gmail.com

I have come to realize that if you mind your business an learn to ignore people you can have a good time no matter where you go to eat. Or YOU (meaning all these uptight people) could always eat at home.

Top Wedding Sites
Top Wedding Sites

The other day we ate at a local restaurant and a kid (around 10) was running back and forth - no parental attention. He finally slammed into our table, knocking the whole thing over and splitting his head open. Kinda hard to ignore and continue to eat.

Movielover
Movielover

At least he split his head.  Maybe that will teach him and his asshole parents something.

Kali Kross
Kali Kross

That's terrible! I hope the kid was okay. :-/

Movielover
Movielover

Oh, really?  I hope they don't go to restaurants anymore.

Ruth Reichl
Ruth Reichl

I hope they ate his brains warm, like a cracked monkey skull in Thailand.

Johndeere
Johndeere

Also annoying: people writing ridiculous articles. Restaurant are public places. If you don't like the people at the next table, leave.

Nick
Nick

Agreed.

That's why God invented home-cooked meals. 

Top Wedding Sites
Top Wedding Sites

That might leave the restaurants with no patrons. How about people start caring about their fellow diners and control their kids, speak at a level only their table can hear, etc.

Kali Kross
Kali Kross

I'm all *for* taking one's tot to a restaurant IF the parents are in-control. It's an excellent way to civilize a child & teach social etiquette.

Above all, those who don't have home-training are ones I don't even want in eye-shot at an IHOP. You know, the "Ay, lemme' get..." types? Or the ones who belch at the table? Gross!

TheRuralJuror
TheRuralJuror

You forgot the 40- and 50-something women who have only watched SATC on TBS but think it's totally great and completely acceptable to have candid conversations with their girlfriends about personal medical issues, including vaginal tumors, uterine cysts, and gall bladder surgery.  Nothing like trying to enjoy dinner while hearing loud discussions (or even moderately loud discussions) around the specifics of someone's symptoms/illnesses.  I've actually had to ask to be moved because it's just so fucking gross and wrong.

esquared
esquared

hmmmm...these are the average people that one may find at the restaurants in the ev/es on a weekend, esp. the new trendy 'it' restos... esp. the ones where there are long waits to get into...

Tamara Dabney
Tamara Dabney

Please add a sixth category: NOSE BLOWERS. People, that's what those public restrooms are for!!! Do NOT do it at the table. ICK

Top Wedding Sites
Top Wedding Sites

I'm so happy to hear someone else complain about nose blowers. SIGH I have 2 family members who think I'm nuts because I don't like that they eat with one hand on the fork and another on the tissue. ewwwwe  They blow, take a bite, bow again...

Zach
Zach

Slurping is cultural for some people.  Not everyone is white ....

Arthur
Arthur

So Zach, you sayin' people of color eat like pigs?

Zach
Zach

Non-white people aren't always "of color".

Red Black
Red Black

"Non-white" very much denotes someone is "of color."  Unless, of course, the non-white is transparent.

By the way, slurping is disgusting in all cultures.  It's acceptance is class-dependent. 

Robert
Robert

I can't help it, I absolutely hate loud and sloppy eaters, slurping and lip smacking are my #1 pet peeve.  I am pretty sure there is nothing else in the world that is likely to set me off on a homicidal rampage. I mean really, just close your fucking mouth when you chew and be aware of any other noises being made it is just common courtesy. I realize it is the standard in some cultures but it is the equivalent to nails on a chalkboard to me.

TomKarpik
TomKarpik

If by cultural, you mean "lacking it", then yes.

Zach
Zach

Sigh.  White people ....

TomKarpik
TomKarpik

Please.

If you're in Asia, where in many countries it is acceptable to make gross noises as you eat, then by all means do it. If you're in a country where the cultural norm is to *keep your mouth shut* when eating, then show some respect. It's as simple as that.

Liza de Guia
Liza de Guia

Yeah, I'm ok with slurping at noodle bars.

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