"Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?"
You've all heard horrible stories about rambling, disconnected, unrehearsed, and even madly embarrassing toasts given at wedding banquets, sometimes ruining friendships and causing brides and grooms to go pale or turn bright red. Well, just memorize one of these, and you're home free.
"There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends."
--Homer, The Odyssey
"What is a wedding? Webster's Dictionary defines a wedding as 'the process of removing weeds from one's garden.'"
--Homer, The Simpsons
"Here's to the happy man: All the world loves a lover."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"May you both live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live."