Domino's Pizza Has Killed the Word 'Artisan'

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"Artisan" has been relentlessly and increasingly abused ever since 2009, when a few people in Brooklyn sparked the interest of the New York Times. The word has suffered mightily, slapped about from pickler to jammer to chocolatier to cakeball pusher to food-truck driver until it was more or less stripped of all meaning and left to shiver naked and defeated. But now, its suffering has finally come to an end, because Domino's has killed it.

The pizza chain, which was last seen exhuming the Noid for social media purposes, has announced it will soon premiere its very own Artisan Pizza.

According to GrubGrade, three varieties of Artisan Pizza -- spinach and feta, sausage and peppers, and salami and roasted vegetables -- will be available. They will be rectangular in shape and feature less cheese than normal. Because they are handcrafted, artisanal creations, customers will not be allowed to add items, only remove them. And whoever makes the pizza has to sign the box.

The box, by the way, bears a message that reads, in part: "Though we may not be artisans in the traditional sense, inside this box you'll find a handmade pizza crafted with the kind of passion and integrity that just might convince you we are." Or it might not. Either way, we're sorry, "artisan." You were too good, too fragile for this world. May the afterlife keep you safe from corporate marketing departments and enterprising Brooklynites alike.


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Big-law
Big-law

It's like this with the misuse of the word "client" as well.  Lawyers have clients.  Hairdressers do not. 

shutup
shutup

I'm pretty sure I heard the word Artisan long before 2009.  Dominoes may have killed said word, but you hipster retards who claim to be true Brooklynities because you moved there from Podunk, Nebraska five years ago instead of two years ago have killed your fair share of what I loved about my home borough.

Jamesn
Jamesn

lol how in the world did you turn this into a hipster/local debate? 

GourmetGuru
GourmetGuru

Thank YOU and well said "shutup"!  Anything that can be found in restaurants outside her beloved "village" surely calls for her peering down her nose upon it!  You could open a restaurant serving cow dung on a cracker and as long as it is only served where Rebecca can access it, "it will be delightful"!  Snobbery to the highest!  Excuse me while I wretch.  Domino's has made great strides in quality, but let's give them the beat down because they are a National brand available to the lowly commoners of the rest of the country...  

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