Stephen Colbert Will Not Give Up His Tater Tots

• ABOLISH INCOME TAXES!                                                                  Dr. Delos M. Cosgrove has issued  stern warnings from the Cleveland Clinic that the Federal Government must step in and help solve the obesity epidemic that has been catastrophic throughout America.       We propose an even more severe solution: abolish the Income Tax laws and substitute a Body Tax Plan. On or before April 15th, the entire family would weigh in and pay $5 a pound for each and every member of the family!      The total aggregate weight of 300 million people would far exceed the income generated taxing income, thus reducing our national debt, and encouraging fat people to trim waistlines as well.      Obviously, taxpayers care about their bodies and would be willing to pay by the pound without complaining.  Also, they don’t have to declare a penny of their income!      This sort of common sense approach is the direction President Barack Obama has often proposed. And he would be a perfect poster man for the lean and determined leader whom most of us voted for.      As the U.S. Post Office slowly fades into the sunset, with massive closings and layoffs, their facilities and personnel could be utilized for National Weighing Stations to pay body taxes. Poor people will eagerly go on diets to pay less and senior citizens naturally save money, becoming shorter and lighter as they grow older.      CPAs will have to bite the bullet and be retrained for other missions in life. For example, as physical trainers or nutritionists to keep their clients’ taxes lower.      State taxes might be relegated to family heights, measured for an additional $3 a foot when everybody weighs in.      Uncle Sam’s slogan can then be: “THE MORE YOU WEIGH, THE MORE YOU PAY”                                                                                                     IRWIN LEBA FOUNDATION                                                 (irwinleba@gmail.com)                                                         (212) 330-7675                                                             

TotalComments: 1