Bacon, Cheddar, and Lox on a Bagel: Awesome or Awful?
Baconfish -- better than bananafish
Until robot butlers and caffeine main lines become affordable realities, foraging on wintry Saturday mornings remains a painful necessity of modern, urban life.
Even if don't have a hangover because you spent Friday night with the sisters Brontë (Wuthering Heights, represent!) the whole waking up process -- groggily crawling out of your warm bed into the cruel, cold world just to find food -- will always suck.
But sometimes, the prospect of a certain food makes the harrowing ordeal worthwhile.
Apparently, a lot of people think that Absolute Bagels (2788 Broadway) serves up snacks that fit this bill -- around 10:30 today, a queue continuously ran from the inside counter outside, down the block.
To be clear, Absolute does have staples like strawberry and scallion spreads -- along with tofu-based substitutes -- but one menu item stuck out: bacon and cheddar cream cheese.
I knew that this schmear would either be a disgusting or delectable addition to my usual -- a savory bagel with lox, tomato, and red onion -- so I ordered the $8.75 sandwich, not knowing whether to expect porcine perfection or purgatory.
The cream cheese tastes exactly like its namesake -- you have the sense that you have just bitten into a liquefied, milky version of a bacon cheese burger. The smokiness of the pig strips -- which have been blended into the spread -- pairs surprisingly well with that of the salmon. Meanwhile, the tomato -- beefy and hearty in a uniquely vegetal way -- keeps the whole thing from feeling too smoky.
The only thing I would consider omitting next time would be the onions -- they seem a bit too crisp and sharp for such a robust, meaty meal.