Marijuana Brownies: The Best Way To Make Them

For its batch of oil, this was the correct size brownie for maximum enjoyability.

Few drugs are as rewarding as cannabis cooked up in brownies. You've got the rich brownie itself as a fitting sendoff, then a half-hour to an hour-and-a-half later, the thing descends on you like a ton of feathers, pouncing rather than creeping. The time discrepancy is the result of whether your stomach is empty or full when you eat the thing, and the rate of your metabolism, too. Either way, the effect is far more visceral than smoking weed, you feel it in your body even more than in your cranium. And as the brownie descends your alimentary tract, it has a slightly differing impact at every stage. The effects last longer, and you can expect to be intoxicated for four hours or more.

My method results in cheap brownies, but it's a giant mess.

There are a lot of myths going around about how to make brownies. As a trained chemist, I believe I've come up with the best method. I've written it down in narrative form for the special recipe I use, but there's a quicker version at the end of this post that may be more in keeping with your inclinations and your supply of combustible intoxicants, as I call them.

Alice B. Toklas -- the mother of so-called "hash brownies," actually made with pot
The saint of the cannabis brownie is Alice B. Toklas, Getrude Stein's main squeeze. Her method actually involved macerating the pot with dried fruits and eating it raw. While this may have been effective, cooking the weed is more so. And her method must have resulted in horrible gas.

I've heard gastro-hippies go on and on about how you've got to take butter and poach the pot in it for many hours or even days at low temperature. This is total bullshit. In my experience, all the active THC is extracted from the plant in 15 minutes or so. I've heard others go to great lengths to buy French chocolate and make the brownies from scratch. This is also bullshit. What people really want is a boxed brownie mix, a familiar flavor modified in a positive way by the exotic taste of the oil.

Years ago, like you, I used expensive bud to make brownies. This is a mistake, but often an unavoidable one. A friend from Pratt had a boyfriend who was a grower in eastern Pennsylvania. She convinced him to give us the unsalable outer leaves of his plants at a steep discount. The discount was also because the leaves had already been used to make "bubble hash," a locally produced soft hash that's made by washing the marijuana in an actual washing machine to mechanically remove the THC crystals (THC doesn't dissolve in water). The rinse water is saved and evaporated and Voila! - bubble hash.

For the boiling step, a wok was hilariously pressed into service.

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