Reader Suggestions: More Asshole Drink Orders

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Only assholes order novelty shots
A couple of days ago, Zachary Feldman penned a list of drink orders that tell everyone you're an asshole. Some examples? Tipples like craft beer or spirits in the wrong kind of bar and novelty shots (except for Jell-O). But a few readers thought he left some of the most asshole-y drinks off.

Says sk1bum:

You forgot a couple of things:

6. Alcohol snobs

7. Any mention of a zombie apocalypse. It's getting tired.

Adds Berto:

Mojitos, mojitos, mojitos, plus any bastardization (apple-tini, non-lime margie, etc)

And then this from Adam Matza:

I would have to include Long Island Iced Teas.

And other readers took issue with some of Feldman's picks. Like anononon:

Really, you're gonna give a pass Jell-o shots because they're 'fun'? They're just as 'fun' as any of the other drinks on here, not to mention they're the frattiest type of frat shot of them all. Hypocrite. The title should be, "5 drink orders that make me think you're an asshole, because I don't drink them and I'm judgemental."

Have other drinks that make you shake your head at the orderer? Or think Feldman's an asshole for the beverages he listed? Join the lively conversation happening in the comments.

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I read these kind of articles to make myself feel smug and secure in my decision to never, EVER, live in a big city where I have to put up with this kind of human idiocy.  

People, be glad you have restaurants of any kind, alcohol, and money with which to buy them. 


Apparently, the economy cannot get bad enough for service people in this city to be grateful for the custom they receive, and to hold back on passing judgement on the less-hip customers. 

I get that you bartenders out there get picky, demanding, and sometimes rude customers. What are you expecting when you charge $15 for a cocktail? The nice, down-to-earth people are drinking at home, or wondering why on earth they should pay up for drinks in a bar when they are treated like second-class customers.

Take note, readers: You should be prepared for more articles on how much customers suck, punctuated by the completely un-ironic editorial on how customers should tip more, and tip in more places, like in takeout joints, supermarkets, when you rent shoes at the bowling alley, when the plummer shows up... heck, let's just say that we should tip anyone  who is in a service industry who owns a wallet to play it safe.

I get that this article doesn't represent all bartenders and waiters. Maybe even not most of them. I would just ask those of you in the hospitality industry to slow down on the judgement. The jerk in the bar might just be you.


Nothing wrong with Long Island ice teas you elitist drinkers.

Jonathan A Cohen
Jonathan A Cohen

Skip, run and go naked. Screw up against the wall with a twist.


Missing Musto more everyday.