Your Waiter Is Judging You: This Is Why

Categories: Things We Hate

Thumbnail image for steakwell.jpg
Peter Pearson via Flickr
Ordering your steak well? You're being judged.
Here's some cold hard truth: Your waiter is judging you. And it's not because you scanned our restaurant's list of preachy, precious dishes made with esoteric (but local!) ingredients and then asked what celeriac or chimicurri are. Waiters don't care about that. Answering questions like that is their job. No, it's not about what you know, it's about how you act, and your waiter is surveying you to determine whether you're a badly behaved diner. How do they know? Presenting the 10 most obvious signs.

10. You ask for drinks without ice.
Unless you have an awful toothache or other predisposition against cold beverages, a waiter will take this as you being cheap, trying to get more bang for your beverage-buck by leaving the ice out. Oh, you want your cocktail without ice, or with "just a tiny bit of ice?" That's cool, the barkeep will be happy to pour the same six-count of vodka he'd normally pour, top it off with tonic and a lime, and watch you enjoy a tepid, weak-tasting drink. Whatever you like, but gross.

9. You say you know the chef.
If you know the chef, odds are, s/he knows you're coming, because you texted before you came and s/he told us to expect you, where to seat you, and to notify the kitchen immediately upon your arrival so s/he could come say hi. If you're trying to be cute and make a surprise, you should know that restaurants do not do well with surprises.

8. You want your steak well done.
If the idea of eating meat makes you so uncomfortable that you can't bear to slurp its delicious, bloody, animal juices, get something that is best eaten cooked through... Like chicken or eggplant or pasta. It's the restaurant's job to serve you food that you'll enjoy, and we're not going to tell you you can't sear all of the animal spirit and life blood from a 30-day dry-aged, heritage beef steak. But here's where your waiter draws the line: If you MUST have your steak well done, it's going to take extra time to cook it all the way through, so please be patient, and don't take your mounting hunger out on us.

My Voice Nation Help
54 comments
chantal_marchon
chantal_marchon

I definitely agree with 1 and 2.  Common courtesy is free and makes the day more pleasant for everyone.  Children should always be supervised in public- they could easily knock over people or trays of food- I have seen that happen.  I also know of an incident where a child was molested by a stranger at a restaurant and the shift manager was the witness that stopped it and informed the parents.  They aren't babysitters, you aren't at your house- keep an eye on your kids.

glorib
glorib

Oh the things we find to waste a beautiful Saturday on. See you outside. 

asprings131
asprings131

"5. You ask the kitchen to drastically change a dish"

 Everyone has a right to get what *THEY* want for ********THEIR HARD EARNED MONEY*****!

 This is VERY LAZY, because anyone that *CARED* about other people, wouldn't MIND doing more work for their money to *EARN* their pay.

 I heavily modify just about *ALL* my things I order. 

"I think I know the menu better than the chef."

At some restaurants, I actually *DID* know more than the kitchen staff honestly, because I *READ* the menu, ********THEY DIDN'T********! Several times I have known more things than the entire staff, because I actually take the time to *READ* the menu descriptions.

 

BelmaczMayfair
BelmaczMayfair

@TheArtfulEaters ,of course, can feel eyes and tentative tip gage working at times in advance ... When at a joint for the first time

Jones
Jones

You are a waiter. The last thing anyone of us cares is being judged by someone much lower down the social ladder. If you want more respect, how about trying to get a real job, then perhaps people will care about you judging them?

sxg282
sxg282

so basically instead of worrying about enjoying the food and company I have to think about the waiter judging me? Too bad I'm too lazy to multitask, judge on, good waiter!

Michael Fortunato
Michael Fortunato

fuck my waiter!!! he or she is useless and expects 20% for shit service and bad attitude.

fuckouttaheah
fuckouttaheah

but your job is to SERVE them. remember that as you try to establish some type of  hierarchy, schmuck!

wrenbrandi
wrenbrandi

Wow. I've been a server. THIS is just bitching by somebody who hates their job. Guess what? Most people don't give a flying f@$k if their server judges them. Why should somebody alter their order just because their server thinks they should? I mean, some of these are just common courtesy (talking on the phone, letting your kid run wild, etc.). But the judgments for what you eat? Why do you care??? Maybe spend your energy caring about something worthwhile or something that's your own damn business. This article just makes YOU look like the asshole, not the customer.

Adam Schaible
Adam Schaible

Could you be more daring and edgy next time? Maybe something like Why The Register Jockey at Kmart Is Judging You? You can make witty, insightful commentary about the rack you got those pants from that don't have a price tag, things not being on sale, and screaming babies. It'll surely be the hit of the autumnal writing season!

Linda Snyder
Linda Snyder

they'd have loved my uncle - his answer to How do you want your steak? Thawed.

Thisoneguy
Thisoneguy

judge all you want, I can do the same and choose not to tip.

Thisoneguy
Thisoneguy

judge all you want, I can do the same and choose not to tip.

Jacki Santiago
Jacki Santiago

Most of these are fine, except a couple. 10. I hate ice cause my teeth are sensitive. Do I have to preface my order with that fact so i don't get judged? Fact: Europeans don't do ice. Also, ICE weakens a drink, not LESS ICE. I hate ice in my cocktails for that reason. I don't care if the glass is full. I don't want my drink to taste like Coors Lights. 8. Why do you care how people order a steak? 7. Again, why do you care?

Rodrigue Mells
Rodrigue Mells

Don't piss off your waitresse / waiter or else they'll spit at your food

Tyler Cannon
Tyler Cannon

...and this is why I don't live in NYC anymore

daveygravey
daveygravey

If you want to write your own effing menu, take your "hard-earned" money and open your own effing restaurant. I'm sure you also wonder why at every restaurant you have the same lousy experience... Like it's the restaurant that is the common denominator. You obviously are exactly the person every server hates to get, since you lamely and rather incoherently defend such ridiculous and pathetic train of thought. Of course you modify the crap out of everything you order... It's probably one of the few things in your life you feel like you have control over. Heavily modify this.

guitarmaker101
guitarmaker101

@asprings131 Obviously your the asshole they are describing and you cant even figure that much out on your own

luckykc1122
luckykc1122

@asprings131 Here's the problem: often, it is the "high maintenance" customers that are bad tippers.  Perhaps if the entitled customers tipped as well as their demands suggest they should, servers wouldn't be so salty about it.  But more often than not (and I see this with my legal clients as well as with my restaurant clients in the past), it is the demanding, particular clients that treat servers with disdain and tip accordingly. 

daveygravey
daveygravey

Social ladder? What a dimwitted and pedantic response. Like anyone with social stature would talk like that. Lol. You're an idiot.

rachephil
rachephil

Jones  Your line of logic doesn't quite add up, however.  If all servers decided to get a "real job" and stopped waiting on tables there would be no one left to wait on you Jones.  So you see, someone has to be on those lower rungs of the ladder as you so eloquently put it if anyone is going to be available to wait on you.  I was a server all through graduate school and I can attest to the fact that this article is quite accurate.  Your comments only confirm what everybody already knows.

lilcaligrl56
lilcaligrl56

@Jonesyou are the most ignorant fucking piece of shit ever.  Honestly I hope you get run over by a train. You think you are so much further up the social ladder? what do you do for a living that makes you superior then anyone else???? 

lilcaligrl56
lilcaligrl56

@Jones you are the most ignorant fucking piece of shit ever.  Honestly I hope you get run over by a train. You think you are so much further up the social ladder? what do you do for a living that makes you superior then anyone else???? 

guitarmaker101
guitarmaker101

@Jones You know assholes like you are the people that make this world a crummy place to live in. I was a waiter the whole time I did my residency. I had to deal with morons such as yourself who thought they were better than everyone else. When you really investigate people like you, you find they are insecure selfish little pricks with Daddy issues. Instead of telling people who work hard as a waiter or waitress to find a real job, you should get a real disposition on life instead of being a snob and a phony.

rachephil
rachephil

@sxg282 I don't think you have to worry about the waiter judging you.  If you're familiar with basic good manners and proper etiquette you'll be fine.

glorib
glorib

@Michael Fortunato.  Maybe you can find a place without useless waiters where you can save your 20% like your kitchen. Sorry you will have shit service & bad attitude.

lilcaligrl56
lilcaligrl56

@Michael Fortunato did you not read the situation?? I am sorry but number 2 is right on the money!! if you cannot control your children in a PUBLIC setting THEN DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN!!! The public does NOT have to deal with your incompetence as a parent and your out of control shitty attitude kid.

mo1985
mo1985

when people order well done steaks, like it said, it takes a lot longer and people tend to get impatient and then take it out on the server.

rachephil
rachephil

I don't think it's so much "caring" about how someone orders their steak.  It has more to do with ruining a gorgeous piece of meat by cooking out all the flavor not to mention those who are stupid enough to order a well done steak and expect it to only take 12 minutes.  A quality, thick cut, aged steak is going to take at least 30 minutes when people want it well done:  partially because of the laws of physics and heat and also due in part to the fact that the customer has just pissed off the chef.  Trust me, you never EVER want to piss off the people who are cooking your food.  The server's opinion aside really, don't piss off the person who is cooking your food.  Very very dangerous.

fuckouttaheah
fuckouttaheah

@Tyler Cannon but it seems you still haven't gotten over it.

asprings1311
asprings1311

@daveygravey "If you want to write your own effing menu, take your "hard-earned" money and open your own effing restaurant."

FUCK YOU ASSHOLE! Everyone, even *YOU* should get what *THEY want for *THEIR* money.


So NO, I will keep getting it the way I want. You act like I can change my taste buds. I can't. 


"I'm sure you also wonder why at every restaurant you have the same lousy experience... Like it's the restaurant that is the common denominator."

NO, it's the lazy, uncaring servers like yourself that's the denominator like not writing down things, not verifying things they can, etc.


"You obviously are exactly the person every server hates to get,"

If they hate me, it's because they don't want to ************WORK********** for their tip.  They are VERY LAZY ASS WORKERS and you know it.


"It's probably one of the few things in your life you feel like you have control over."

NO, has nothing to do with control MORON! Has everything to do with taste buds.


asprings1311
asprings1311

@guitarmaker101 "Obviously your the asshole they are describing and you cant even figure that much out on your own"

NO, I am a VERY NICE PERSON! Obviously you are an uncaring human being.

asprings1311
asprings1311

@luckykc1122 "Here's the problem: often, it is the "high maintenance" customers that are bad tippers."

Probably because the workers get their orders wrong for things they could control. Did you ever think of that? 

" demands"

No one demands anything unless they are mean about their request.  I ask very NICELY for things.  You sound VERY LAZY.

asprings1311
asprings1311

@luckykc1122"You are precisely the client servers hope they don't get."

Because they are lazy and uncaring workers. You know that's the GOD'S HONEST TRUTH! Go ahead, tell me I am wrong.

Joshuabeare
Joshuabeare

@rachephil I like how your the only one to respond to that dude in a kind way.
I like that! Let's not fight Hate with hate!!

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Loading...