Monica Heisey/Vice

Here is the formula -- if you can figure out what's in the little piles.

It's been done before. In fact, graham crackers were invented in 1829 by Presbyterian minister Sylvester Graham as the perfect food, the one you could allegedly eat all by itself and have a balanced diet. Now Atlanta-based computer programmer Rob Rhinehart has invented a liquid diet that, he believes, contains all the nutrients the human body needs to survive, and even thrive, dispensing with the need to encounter actual food ever again.

Last September, Fork in the Road reported that it was now possible to smoke marijuana in bars and restaurants -- and not crouching furtively in the bathroom, either. A hand-held vaporizer along the lines of the Volcano had been developed, so small it could fit in the palm of your hand. Powered by souped-up double A batteries, the device delivered nearly pure THC -- the active ingredient in ganga -- odorlessly, allowing you to smoke without being detected in many places like nightclubs, bars, and restaurants. We even did a test of the "vape" in a popular cocktail lounge, without attracting attention.

Now a new device has been developed that permits even greater discretion.

All photos courtesy Rocket News 24

Eating dirt is not a new thing. In the form known as "pica," pregnant women and children have historically consumed dirt, clay, and rocks in places as far-flung as Malawi, India, and Mississippi. In Hindu scripture, Krishna is said to have eaten earth, and so it long ago became a religious observance among certain cultists. In Africa, people are sometimes forced to eat earth out of sheer hunger, while others eat it to protect themselves from germs and parasites, reports the Cornell Daily Sun.

Explore further in FiTR's Annals of Absurdity.

Yes, cooking can also be depressing.

Thanks to the Organ Meat Society's Dan Okrent for the link.

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The City by the Bay is as pop-up crazy as New York. San Francisco FiTR correspondent Tracy Van Dyk reports that a current Mission pop-up near the corner of Guerrero and 18th serves one thing, and one thing only: New York-style bagels. But there's a catch: The bagels are $3 apiece.

Spouting inanities, the "chef" of White Castle shows you how to make turkey even more boring -- and freak out your guests in the process. No pickles? WTF?

We love him, we hate him - but the fact that Pete Wells' curdling review of Guy Fieri's restaurant has caused such a commotion is because, like it or not, the guy is a seminal figure in the declining years of the Age of Foodism. Yes, he's a buffoon, but he's popularized the foodist lifestyle to the largest number of people. Ever. And elevated many working class restaurants (some might say grease pits) that constitute a subculture in themselves. In fact, some people not only admire him, they want to be him, and here are the 10 best examples Fork in the Road could find.

Demeter Fragrances, the outfit that brought you perfumes with the odor of Dirt, Baby Powder, Clean Windows, Funeral Home, and Egg Nog (I have the Dirt, and used to use it to disguise the smell of pot in my luggage), has come up with another doozy: sushi.

In case you're on the fence about heading to the polls tomorrow, Will Ferrell is offering a home-cooked meal for your vote. The comedian released his latest Obama endorsement video yesterday and explains to viewers that he's willing to do just about anything in the name of the POTUS. What exactly does that entail? Ferrell says he'll "eat garbage, hair, human toenails, underpants . . ."