The Long Island Bar Outs 'Pete Wells' on Instagram

Critics can no longer hide from tech-savvy owners.

A photo posted by The Long Island Bar (@longislandbar) on

Wondering what Pete Wells looks like? Have a long, hard look at this photo the Long Island Bar (110 Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn, 718-625-8908) just posted in its basement for its staff.

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Incomprehensible Vision, Proper Technique, and Blind Ambition Intrigue at "ʁ"

Steve Gregory via Flickr
A backwaiter at "ʁ"
When the "ʁ" Maitre d' approaches wearing what he describes as "the untanned hides of four of the queerest wolves in the Southwestern United States," you might be inclined to flinch in fear. But that visceral reaction ups your chances that the wolves' kin, who have been partially tamed and trained as backwaiters at this restaurant, will rip you to shreds for an amuse for the next guest. Eating at "ʁ"(an inquiry into the pronunciation of the name will earn at best a frown from the staff, at worst a maniacal laugh) will leave some mystified, others mortified, and most mutilated.

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Kenka is a Wild and Freaky Carnival Ride

The East Village's Kenka is a wildly authentic izakaya that might be the most high-functioning example of a themed Japanese restaurant around, an edible amusement park of the fermented, fried, and freaky that gives its own special meaning to that old Gonzo adage, "Buy the ticket, take the ride."

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In a Refutation of Foodism, Software Engineer Reduces Personal Menu to a Single Item

Monica Heisey/Vice
Here is the formula -- if you can figure out what's in the little piles.

It's been done before. In fact, graham crackers were invented in 1829 by Presbyterian minister Sylvester Graham as the perfect food, the one you could allegedly eat all by itself and have a balanced diet. Now Atlanta-based computer programmer Rob Rhinehart has invented a liquid diet that, he believes, contains all the nutrients the human body needs to survive, and even thrive, dispensing with the need to encounter actual food ever again.

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Now You Can Smoke Pot in Restaurants, Part 2: The E-Joint

The e-joint is just like the e-cigarette, except it contains THC instead of nicotine. Sexy, right?

Last September, Fork in the Road reported that it was now possible to smoke marijuana in bars and restaurants -- and not crouching furtively in the bathroom, either. A hand-held vaporizer along the lines of the Volcano had been developed, so small it could fit in the palm of your hand. Powered by souped-up double A batteries, the device delivered nearly pure THC -- the active ingredient in ganga -- odorlessly, allowing you to smoke without being detected in many places like nightclubs, bars, and restaurants. We even did a test of the "vape" in a popular cocktail lounge, without attracting attention.

Now a new device has been developed that permits even greater discretion.

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Cooking With Dirt at Tokyo's Ne Quittez Pas

All photos courtesy Rocket News 24
Like some dirt in your potato soup?

Eating dirt is not a new thing. In the form known as "pica," pregnant women and children have historically consumed dirt, clay, and rocks in places as far-flung as Malawi, India, and Mississippi. In Hindu scripture, Krishna is said to have eaten earth, and so it long ago became a religious observance among certain cultists. In Africa, people are sometimes forced to eat earth out of sheer hunger, while others eat it to protect themselves from germs and parasites, reports the Cornell Daily Sun.

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What's the Difference Between French Cheeses and Assault Weapons?

Thanks for Noah Fecks for posting this on his Facebook

Explore further in FiTR's Annals of Absurdity.

How To Make Nachos

Yes, cooking can also be depressing.

Thanks to the Organ Meat Society's Dan Okrent for the link.

San Franciscans Will Pay Plenty for a 'NY Bagel'

Click on image to enlarge
Reach deep into your pocket for a taste of NY in SF.

The City by the Bay is as pop-up crazy as New York. San Francisco FiTR correspondent Tracy Van Dyk reports that a current Mission pop-up near the corner of Guerrero and 18th serves one thing, and one thing only: New York-style bagels. But there's a catch: The bagels are $3 apiece.

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White Castle Shows You How To Stuff Your Turkey With Tiny Hamburgers

Spouting inanities, the "chef" of White Castle shows you how to make turkey even more boring -- and freak out your guests in the process. No pickles? WTF?