Last nights' No Reservations: Hudson Valley was not our favorite of Bourdain's adventures--that The Shining hotel interlude with an uncomfortable-looking Michael Ruhlman took up 20 minutes that could have been devoted to food. And what was up with the Dakota Fanning doppelganger? Still, the scene in the old-timers' bar was priceless, and what food there was looked awfully good.

Plus, we saw the new frontier in movable kitchens.

Rachel Coleman: Brooklynite, bad cook

​Yes, friends, it's another food reality television show--Worst Cooks in America premieres on the Food Network on January 3. It turns the Top Chef paradigm on its head--instead of being covertly invited to snicker at the flailings of chefs who are meant to be talented, we're urged to root for the redemption of home cooks who have already admitted that they're terrible.

These purported worst cooks in the nation are split into two teams, and submit to cooking boot camp, one team under Anne Burrell, formerly of Centro Vinoteca, and the other under Beau MacMillan, of elements in Phoenix. One by one they are eliminated in cooking challenges, until the last two compete in front of a panel of "esteemed culinary critics" to win $25,000 (and not, we assume the title of Worst Cook in America).

One of the contestants walks among us, in Bushwick, Brooklyn. We caught up with Rachel Coleman about her kitchen disasters, what she learned from Anne Burrell, and what it's like to study reality TV in college, and then actually be on reality TV.

​Tune in to the CBS Sunday Morning Show from 9 a.m.-10:30 a.m. this Sunday, when their annual food show airs, including a segment on sliders.

Speaking of food television, a certain person who will not be outed might possibly have a guilty thing for Paula Deen. The way Deen drawls "buuuuuuuuuuteeer" could tame a wild beast. But on her show on the Food Network, Deen looks like an amateur drag queen--sporting a rock hard, puffy coiffure and a disturbing shellacking of make-up. But now she has a channel on YouTube, where you can watch home-video-like segments, showing her in a much more casual light. In this one, she makes pimento cheese in her own kitchen, makeup-free.

[via Slashfood]

Last night, onetime Bravo boy and sometimes Top Chef judge Ted Allen premiered his new  rival show on the Food Network, Chopped. Allen has spoken out against allegations that the show is a Top Chef rip-off, elucidating the differences on his blog, saying "There is no sleep deprivation, no "Big Brother" house full of bunk beds and cameras, no booze-fueled personal drama...Best of all, there is no product placement, so you never see passionate lovers of good food being forced to use packaged convenience junk thanks to Kraft/Altria/Exxon's sponsorship."

That may all be true, but the absence of Diet-Dr.-Pepper Quickfires doesn't make up for the fact that Chopped's format is boring, the talent of its chef-testants subpar, and the general look of the show cheap. We'll take the occasional Bertolli challenge in exchange for some decent production value and an occasional change of scenery. 

Last night, the Culinary Institute of America at the Astor Center presented a cooking class with Stephanie Izard, the most recent winner of Top Chef. Izard demonstrated two dishes that she cooked on the show: Duck a la orange with braised duck spring rolls and bok choy, and roasted lamb with maitake mushrooms, blackberry gastrique and braised pistachios.

I'm not sure the class functioned so well in terms of actually learning how to make the recipes Stephanie demoed, but by no fault of hers. Some of the necessary prep hadn't been laid out (no hot oil in which to fry), and most of the audience questions were about Top Chef rather than her technique. Stephanie seemed just as genuine, competent and down to earth as she did on the show--she might be the most naturally likable person ever to appear on reality television.

Highlights:

Those braised pistachios that Ted Allen went crazy for on the show were, in reality, totally delicious. And simple: pistachios, chicken stock and salt, simmered for 40 minutes, the end.

After filming the first episode's elimination challenge, and getting freaked out because Anthony Bourdain had walked in, Stephanie had a "little panic attack" and the show's medics had to attend to her.

On Lisa: "She's great. They had to make someone the villain." Lisa is listed in Stephanie's phone as "Leeza," for the way Daniel Boulud pronounced the name.

To braise in a short amount of time (like if you're on Top Chef...or if your friends are coming over for dinner soon) cut the meat into smaller pieces, and braise on the stovetop (rather than in the oven), using slightly higher heat than you otherwise would.

You can save braising liquid (including all the aromatics and seasonings) and use it over and over. Stephanie said that she's worked in kitchens in which the same braising liquid is used for "months and months." Just bring it to a boil every few days for food safety.

On the Dale-Lisa mutual tantrum/Jen-kicking-chair scene: "We were in that room for up to six hours at a time, and there's this big cooler of wine and beer. Jen got upset because Zoe was leaving the show...Dale decides to start screaming at Lisa even though we won...I think that's what they [the producers] want. They were like 'sweet.'"

Stephanie will be opening a "fun, funky gastro-pub" (obvs) in Chicago next spring. She and her partners are currently scouting locations. She's also working on a cookbook.

On a night out with Mario Batali: "He likes to throw back a couple cocktails...I wouldn't recommend drinking three big glasses of Fernet."

Having left her restaurant, Scylla, Stephanie worked as a personal chef for a family in the Hamptons this summer. (Unsurprisingly, she decided personal cheffing was not for her.)

Restaurant recommendations in Chicago: Avec and L20.

Lamb with blackberry gastrique, maitake mushrooms and braised pistachios

Paula Deen's gonna fatten her right up.

Sarah Palin makes me want to throw my television out the window and start setting shit on fire. Luckily for my neighbors, an email from the Food Network arrived just in time to calm me down. Just gaze at the picture above, breathe into a paper bag and think of hot lard. See? All better now.

On Paula Deen's Sept. 20th show (titled "Grease is the Word," of course), Deen will help Michelle Obama get down with the people by teaching her how to fry.

I love Paula Deen...reluctantly. Her show isn't so fantastic, but her voice is better than Valium. Just close your eyes and listen: "And now a halfa pounda butta....And some cream...And we're gonna fry that up in hot laaard." And if she's helping Michelle Obama reach out to lovers of Southern fried food, all the better.

From the press release:

On Saturday September 20th at 7:00pm ET/PT, Michelle gives Paula a taste of her family life on the road to the White House and shares fun facts, including the first meal she made for Barack, what kinds of local foods the family seeks out on the road and that Barack makes a mean chili! And, with Paula showing her secrets for frying up some popular American comfort foods, this is one party viewers won’t want to miss!

And Barak makes a mean chili! You hear that red staters? What's more American than making a mean chili?

I mean...besides American traditions like the high success rate of abstinence-only education, banning books from school libraries and mocking the silly notion of reading prisoners their rights. But chili is right up there!

Ted Allen's new show, Food Detectives, premieres tonight on the Food Network at 9pm. We talked to Allen about the new show, Top Chef New York (his lips are sealed) and where he likes to eat in the city.

So tell me about the new show.

It’s called Food Detectives. We take myths and stories and old wives tales, and partnering with experts from Popular Science magazine, we test them out. The victims are my henchpersons, who do things like eat a whole bunch of habaneros and then we see what will ease the pain.

Milk products, right?

Well, I hate to give everything away, but it’s no accident that spicy cuisines from different cultures are served with dairy—Indian with raita, hot wings with blue cheese dip…there may be a good reason for that.

And then, the Popular Science people reveal the science behind that—it turns out that there’s a protein in milk called casein that binds to capsaicin, that element in peppers that irritates your tongue, and it literally washes that capsaicin out, and takes you back to happy land.

Has anything really surprised you so far? Anything that you thought was a myth that turned out to be true, or vice versa?

Well, we’re going to be taking viewer questions, but right now since we don’t have viewers, we don’t have viewer questions. So we set up a website for people to write in, and Bob from Iowa wanted to know if it was true that celery has negative calories.

The theory goes that chewing it burns more calories than is in the celery. And I was surprised to find that while that’s not exactly true, the fact is that celery is so fibrous that it takes lots of energy to digest, so technically it does result in slight negative calorie advantage.

I guess I should eat more celery!

[Laughs] Yeah, you know testing the 'five second rule' is not going to win us the Noble Prize, but it’s funny and different, a strange mix of realism and fantasy and craziness. It’s less about the end result and more about the journey being fun and funny.

So who are your unfortunate henchmen? Are they people viewers will recognize?

They are actually people who do not speak on the show, and no, viewers they won’t know who they are. In a way I wish I could bring on known guests chefs, because I’ve met so many great people in the last couple years, but this is not one that Anthony Bourdain is going to want to do.

Why not?

Well, he’s a brave guy, but he’s not going to want to stick his head in a disgusting refrigerator to see if baking powder really works to absorb odors. Maybe one of these days.

Speaking of refrigerators, what’s in yours that might surprise people?

I have 19 different kinds of mustard; I love Coleman’s; I love hot mustards and horseradish. I like a lot of spicy stuff; I love Sriracha. I like things that have really intense flavor.

And they’re not in my refrigerator, but I love tomatoes. They’re only really edible for about one and half months each year, and that time is about to start. I’m going to the Greenmarket this weekend to get my hands on some great tomatoes. It’s the best culinary moment of the whole year. I’ll make a caprese and drizzle nice olive oil over it. I’ll take that over a truffle any day.

Where do you like to eat out in the city?

In my neighborhood, Clinton Hill, there’s a wood-fired pizza place called Graziellas [232 Vanderbilt Avenue, Brooklyn, 718-789-5663]. I love it. They have a roof top deck, and super thin, crispy crust. They don’t do delivery, because it’s the kind of thing you have to eat in five minutes, and after that it turns into something else. Some of the best pizza in the world is in New York, and it’s all about the crust.

I’m a little behind on basic New York restaurant literacy, because I work all the time. But one of my favorite things about doing Top Chef and Iron Chef, is meeting these chef-heroes, and getting their cell phone numbers. I always try to go to Lidia Bastianich’s or Alfred Portales’ restaurants, and having met them and gotten their cell phone numbers makes it easier to get a reservation!

Meeting those chefs is really my favorite thing about working on food T.V.

Can you tell us anything about the Top Chef that’s shooting now in New York?

[Laughs] I’m not at liberty to say! They’re crazy about secrecy. With any of these shows as they get more popular, there’s increased scrutiny from blogosphere. With The Next Food Network Star, there were people literally stalking the production.

Anything else you’d like us to know about the new show?

Once we get into regular showings on Tuesday nights, viewers will write in with questions they want to have answered, and it might be really fun to do one on what really is in a hot dog. So it’s not necessarily just about myths—there are only so many myths around for us to debunk—the format is flexible, it’s about interesting stories and going behind the scenes. And you know, hot dogs, we’re all a little afraid that there really are snouts and tails and eyeballs in there, but it would be nice to be able to have a Nathan’s hot dog every now and then.

And even if it is snouts and tails, maybe it’s still not that scary?

I’m kind of on a rampage lately to never eat processed foods, not just because they’re full of fat and preservatives, but industrial food just freaks me out. And we now have access to so many great organic, local products. Industrial producers will do anything they can to make it cheap; it’s worth it to spend a little more...

I’ve been doing food T.V. now for 5 years, but it’s all been reality shows like Queer Eye, or judging. So it’s an interesting challenge, because for Food Detectives I have to learn lines! But it’s nice to have a little bit more control over the language and the jokes. This one really indulges my geeky interest in the science side of food, but also has a lot of opportunity for humor. I think it’s a lot of fun.

Is your show influenced by Alton Brown’s Good Eats?

That comparison is inevitable, because both shows deal with science and food.
If Alton were here, he would draw a diagram showing that where we intersect is at food and science, and where we diverge is that Alton is actually showing you how to cook things, and I’m not doing anything that useful. [Laughs] Food Detectives is more comedic, and more about story. Nobody is replacing Alton! He’s a good friend and a great source of information.

Danya Alhamrani runs Saudi Arabia's first female-owned production company

Anthony Bourdain's newest No Reservations was on last night, in which he tours Saudi Arabia with Danya Alhamrani, a Saudi woman. (Danya won a contest in which viewers competed to play tour guide for Tony.) Every time No Reservations threatens to get old, or AB himself flirts with overexposure, they do something amazing like this. To me, this is the best kind of food television.

Danya takes Tony on a tour of Saudi food, featuring both restaurants (A fried chicken fast food place that's a local favorite) and home cooking (Camel hump! It looks like a giant hunk of quivering fat). While Tony and Danya eat, they're also having having genuine, sometimes awkward, sometimes funny conversations about why, for instance, Saudi restaurants segregate women away from non-related males. And why a smart, successful, funny woman might actually think that's a good idea.

You can read Tony's account of the whole shebang here, and the No Reservations producer's blog here, on what it was like to be a female producer in Saudi Arabia. Find out more about Danya Alhamrani here.

We asked Chef Anne Burrell of Centro Vinoteca about her new Food Network show, where she likes to eat, and about being a woman in the kitchen. "Secrets of a Restaurant Chef" premieres this Sunday, June 29th at 9:30am.

Tell us about your new show, 'Secrets of a Restaurant Chef.'

Every show is based around a menu. The show starts with me preparing the menu at Centro and then moves to the home kitchen, where I break it down and teach people the technique. It’s about how to successfully cook those restaurant dishes at home.

So will you be focusing on rustic Italian, as you do at the restaurant?

There’s some Italian stuff because that’s what I do, but there’s also a focus on standard cooking techniques like roasting, searing…

What common misconception do you hope to correct, what do you think people will be surprised to learn?

Well, I think people think ‘Oh, cooking in a restaurant, you have all this space, I can’t do those things in my little kitchen.’ But actually, restaurant kitchens are pretty cramped with a lot of people in them. You can do great food in a tiny kitchen.

My premiere show is about how to make a great Bolognese sauce, and antipasto of poached egg with grilled asparagus. That shows people, ‘Wow you can poach eggs ahead, who knew?’

And we’ll do a roasted chicken with great mashed potatoes—people think roasted chicken is a big whoop, but actually, roasted chicken is pretty cinchy.

What tricks do you show viewers to make it easy?

Well, how to truss a chicken, and why to truss a chicken…how to do a jus, that’s an easy sauce that goes with the chicken that’s made in the same pot. Showing people that chicken doesn’t have to be dry, that it should have nice crispy skin. You lube it up with olive oil; flip it a couple times so that the top and bottom are crispy. Start it out on high heat, so you get the nice brown crisp skin, and then turn it down and cook it slowly so that the chicken stays juicy.

Sounds like the kind of show people actually want from the Food Network, the kind of technique-focused show that the network seems to have been moving away from.

Well, I hope people are interested, that’s why I wrote these kinds of menus, so that people will think ‘Oh wow, I think I could do that.’

Is there a dish or technique that people often think that it’s harder than it is?

I do a show about searing fish—how to make a crispy skinned fish. People say, ‘I don’t know, I try to sear fish and it gets mushy and soggy and it falls apart, and the skin sticks to bottom of pan…’ I show how to sear wild striped bass, but you can use the technique with snapper or salmon or any fish.

Do you have any tips for getting the most out of a restaurant experience?

I go to work in a restaurant everyday, and I would say that when you go to a new restaurant, put yourself in the hands of the restaurant. People come in and ask, ‘Can you make me this?’ instead of ordering what the place does well. If you let the restaurant do what they do, you’ll enjoy it so much more. Ask the waiters what’s their favorite, they see it and serve it everyday. Or, ask them what’s most popular. The stuff that the servers like, that’s probably what the restaurant is best at.

What should a home cook make for an impressive dinner party that’s still doable?

Any braised dish—that’s dinner party-ish, it has a wow factor and is something that anyone can do. It’s a total do ahead, or even do yesterday type thing. It’s flavorful and hearty. People will be like ‘Wow, you made short ribs!’ You can serve a nice big wine with it, serve polenta with it and people love it. And you’ll have leftovers. Braising takes a little effort to get started but once it you have it going, you can leave it alone. And when people walk in, the house smells amazing.

You’re the executive chef at Centro Vinoteca—do you think it’s harder for a woman to make it big in the kitchen?

You know, I can’t comment because I don't know how it is to be a male chef, I only know how it is to be me. Being in the kitchen is a hard job for anybody, but if it’s your passion you don’t think of it as being hard. Even a year ago if you had said to me that I’d have my own show, I would have laughed. I’ve been lucky, but I’ve also worked hard; if you work hard you can bring about your own luck.

A lot of people ask me about being a female chef versus being male chef…I don’t know, it’s just my job and I’d prefer to be thought of as a chef rather than a girl chef. I’m not like I walk around saying ‘I’m a woman, not a man!’ It is what it is.

What’s happening with Gusto Ristorante? Are you going to be working there soon?

Centro’s not even a year old, and I’m not ready not to go to work there everyday. I’m slated to start at Gusto, and eventually it’s going to happen. Right now, though I’m focusing on Centro and waiting to see how things unfold with the show.

Is Iron Chef as stressful as it looks?

It absolutely is, that hour never gets any longer, and if things go awry, as they sometimes do, the hour still doesn’t get any longer. I mean, it’s incredibly intense and an adrenalin rush, and I love doing it. I love working with Mario.

Would you want to be an Iron Chef yourself?

I would have to think about that, it’s a hard job. I like my role on the show for the time being.

Besides your own restaurant, where do you like to eat out in the city?

I’m a huge fan of Mario’s places, and not just because I work with him. He’s one of the top restaurateurs in the city for a reason. Babbo and Lupa are a few of my favorite places.

And recently I ate for the first time at Momofuku Ssam Bar, and I was like, ‘I want to move in here!’ We had a ton of stuff, way too much food because I wanted to try everything—the pork buns, charred squid salad, hanger steak, kampachi with pickled strawberries and fried capers...I’m also a big fan of the burger at Daddy-o. I go after work; I try not to eat late at night but sometimes I can’t resist. I think it’s the tater tots that put it over the edge.

What’s next for you?

I’m hoping I’ll be filming more shows. I filmed six and now we wait to see, and hopefully there will be more.

The premiere is this Sunday at 9:30 in the morning, right? Thank god for Tivo!

I know, I Tivoed my own show the other day! Most people who work nights aren’t up at that time. If it weren’t for Tivo I’d probably miss my own premiere.