Gawker really hates people who care about food! First food threatened music and Hamilton Nolan slammed the whole food-is-the-new-rock thing (Nolan was more articulate about this on WNYC recently, go listen). Today, mayo-hater Drew Magary slams food critics for being elitist, out-of-touch jerks who make "ungodly sums of money," and don't even help people find good restaurants (I'll just point you toward Robert's awesome lamb roundup to counter that).

What Magary has to say is not particularly clever, and as a person who cares about all this stuff, I wish he'd taken the time to produce something more thoughtful. But, no matter.

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On Tuesday, August 24, one week from today, the sixth and final season of Lost will be released to the public. In commemoration of that milestone (and also the release of the Weezer album entitled Hurley), we offer actor Jorge Garcia in one of his earliest performances -- in a 1998 Hardee's commercial, when he was 16 years old, and already a substantial guy.

But that wasn't the end of Garcia's career flogging fast food. Here are a couple more fast-food commercials he's done, which may help to explain his widening girth.

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Frank Bruni's gig at the Times is coming to an end in about three weeks. That means that his replacement has likely already been chosen--Bruni writes in his memoir that each critic is given several weeks of preparatory time, basically to fly all over the world and eat in the best restaurants.

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This week in the Voice, Our Man Sietsema delves into authentic Iraqi cuisine at La Kabbr.

Frank Bruni has a hard time getting a table at Graydon Carter's Monkey Bar, but when he finally does, encounters "supple and sweet" lobster thermidor and "watery" linguine, earning the good-looking establishment a one spot.
[NY Times]

Restaurant Girl loves the sausages and hot dogs at DBGB Kitchen & Bar, but doesn't quite care for the burgers, which are "all overworked, especially the Piggie, clobbered by barbecue pulled pork, a mustard-vinegar slaw, and jalapeno mayonnaise toppings."
[NY Daily News]

Jay Cheshes is quite taken with the pastas at Michael White's Marea, which he deems "bold and original," while "the composed seafood entrees show far more restraint," even managing to be "dull."
[Time Out]

Ryan Sutton also found himself at Marea, which he found "a little bit silly." He suggests, like most other reviewers, to start with the sea urchin crostini topped in pork fat, which "smells of pig and salts the urchin, the sweet, jiggly custard of the sea."
[Bloomberg]

Critical Mass Alert!
Alan Richman paid a visit to Marea, as well, where you can eat a $45 Adriatic seafood soup. He pronounces it "the best restaurant from (Chris) Cannon-(Michael) White," though thinks it will probably never be as popular as the more traditional Convivio.
[GQ @ men.style.com]

Photo borrowed from lostnewyorkcity

After Mr. Cutlets posted a tip that Joe Jr. Restaurant might be closing, an outpouring of emotion from fans followed.

Mimi Sheraton wrote in to say, "If hamburgers were all, the loss of Joe Jr., would be far less serious. Like so many devotees, the things I would miss are the nicely doctored soups, the excellent tuna fish salad sandwich, all egg dishes and the waffles as well as the oatmeal."

Patrons of the West Village diner posted a sign on the window petitioning for the place to stay open, but Grub Street reported that it was no use: Owner Teddy Hondros has already made up his mind to retire after 34 years at the restaurant.

Hondros's son, Gregory, told the Times' Diner's Journal, "What can I say, this really hurts. I've been coming here since I was a kid, and so have our customers."

A friend of the restaurant's wrote in to Eater, saying that the landlord had offered to let Hondros stay for double his current rent.

Barring any last-minute reversal, Joe Jr.'s will close this Sunday, July 5.

The debate over Jim Lahey's new pizza joint, Co., continues. Our own Sarah DiGregorio reviewed it earlier this month and found things "hit or miss." This week, the Daily News' Danyelle Freeman, Bloomberg's Ryan Sutton, and Frank Bruni (in his Times blog) all gave their thoughts on Co. Most note the great care taken with the crust, but opinions of what's on top of that crust vary. A Critical Mass roundup is after the jump. More >>

The Times' Frank Bruni reviews the John Dory today, and, like New York's Adam Platt and Bloomberg's Ryan Sutton, he gives the place just two stars. While Bruni makes a point of saying he immensely admires both chef April Bloomfield and sommelier David Lynch in his review, he has less admiration for the decor. "It's all very 'Finding Nemo,' or maybe losing Nemo," he writes of it, "because the impact of this visual chaos -- ratcheted up by an open kitchen that is a distraction too many -- can be to give you a maritime migraine and tug your focus from the edible fish that are the purpose and point of the project."

As for the edible fish, he says sometimes "Ms. Bloomfield's revel in richness and big flavors pays off" like in an oyster pan roast appetizer, while other times, it doesn't, as in the restaurant's namesake dish, a whole roasted John Dory for two. And even the Bruni finds some of the prices too high.

Our own Robert Siestema reviewed the John Dory a few weeks back. Read what he had to say here. And, check out what critics around the city had to say in our Critical Mass.

Last week our own Sarah DiGregorio reviewed Shang (17 Orchard Street), the first New York project from acclaimed Hong Kong-born chef Susur Lee. She noted that "Shang has all the trappings of a middling hotel restaurant" with waiters always trying to upsell, overpriced cocktails, and a predictably sleek interior, but that "several items [on the menu] succeed flamboyantly" while still others "taste like they came from a Trader Joe's freezer." Most other critics seem to be sharing her mixed view of the place; a critical roundup of Shang is after the jump.
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The reviews are beginning to come in for the John Dory (85 Tenth Avenue), the hotly anticipated fishy collaboration between April Bloomfield, she of Spotted Pig acclaim, and restauranteur Ken Friedman. Between New York, NY Daily News, and Bloomberg, the restaurant averages a disappointing two and two-thirds stars. Everyone notes the kitschy, over-the-top decor, and some say the cuisines tend towards the same. More fishy business after the jump...
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Ouch. Frank Bruni gives David Bouley's newest venture, Secession, no stars in the Times today due in part to "amateurish" service and its menu being the work of "an unfocused, distracted mind." Other critics' review have been somewhat kinder, but everyone agrees on one thing: the menu is big, very big. After the jump, a roundup of Secession reviews, where everyone devotes many words to discussing the shear size and breadth of the "sprawling," "inventive,"  "oddly organized riot" of a menu.

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