Mallory Stuchin

No idea how this tastes.

I'm an eggnog virgin.

And I really can't give a reason as to why I've gone so long without as much as a sip of this silky, sweet holiday beverage. It's not the thought of consuming raw eggs that brings on my hesitation -- because I'd be happy to gnaw on a cookie dough log. Raised as a Jewish New Yorker, eggnog rarely finds its way to our table beside the manischewitz.

A short while back, when the term "Eggnog Week" was just one of many ideas tossed around our editorial meeting, I eagerly volunteered myself to write about my experience tasting 'nog for the first time.

What happened next can only be explained in the immortal words of Jewel -- these foolish games are tearing me apart.

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The wondrous part is tequila.

Eggnog isn't that hard to make. Heavy cream, egg yolks, nutmeg, sugar. All the good things holidays are made of. But here are five video tutorials that add extra flair to the Christmas classic.

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Irish moss seaweed -- is there a little of this in your packaged eggnog?

When you want some eggnog this time of year, all you have to do is reach into the refrigerator case at your local supermarket or bodega and Bam! You've got some delicious eggnog. But are commercially produced products, even organic ones, always good for you? The Wisconsin-based organic agriculture think tank Cornucopia Institute doesn't think so.

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Houston Press

Chuck Norris has so much holiday spirit, he pees eggnog. But he won't drink it.

Chuck Norris jokes may be a thing of the past, but the man, the myth, the legend himself spoke up against something so un-Chuck-worthy: holiday season weight gain. One of the main causes of caloric intake, according to Chuck? Eggnog.

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There are two nogs in this picture, see if you can find them.

[Every day this week, FiTR will be offering posts about eggnog, the quintessence of Christmas as a food holiday. There will be recipes and reminiscences, and the occasional cautionary tale. This is the first installment.]

1. What's a "nog" anyway?

"Nog" is one of those Germanic words lost in the fog, attributed to Anglo-Saxon by Webster's, but sounding a little more Scandinavian, say, Old Norse. In fact, it's easy to imagine Leif Erickson and his merry band drinking a warm batch of eggnog made with sheep's milk before hopping on the boat to discover America.

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Chipwich eggnog? We don't think so!

This year, instead of the usual omnibus coverage of gifts for foodies, restaurant holiday meals, cookie recipes, and pictures of animals wearing Santa Claus suits (though there will also be that), Fork in the Road has decided to pull out all the stops and feature an entire week of eggnog coverage. After all, it's the only thing about Xmas that really matters, right?

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