Six Things We Hate About Restaurant Week...and Six Places Worth Going To

Image via NY Restaurant Week
No, thanks.
Restaurant week began on Monday. So at participating restaurants, you can sit down for a three-course lunch for $25 or a three-course dinner for $38, now through March 7.

Most of the suckers that buy into this ludicrous semi-annual marketing mega-scheme think it's a great opportunity to visit fancy places like Le Cirque and Cafe Boulud on the cheap, and yes, you get to visit these places, and it is comparatively cheap, given what you would usually pay for a meal in such a place. But we see the event as more of a miserly menagerie than anything else.


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An Open Letter to a Boring Downtown Restaurant

Image: Instagram
These scallops look and sound delicious, but really, they're super-meh.

Dear Pagani (289 Bleecker Street, 212-488-5800),

I was really excited to visit you the other day.

And I was still excited after my night started off on the wrong foot: I didn't realize that your Bleecker Street location was actually on the corner of Seventh Avenue -- I thought you were the restaurant that took the place of a DIFFERENT superfluous guitar shop, the one down the street closer to MacDougal.

That mishap is on me. But the rest is on you. Or, perhaps, it's on downtown and the people who live there and what they must be begging you to do. Because it's not just you -- it's many of the restaurants I've been to in the West Village lately.

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Where to Go on Your Online First Date (By Site!)

The Shanty
Ideal for an OkCupid first date.
Online first dates are stressful enough -- will everyone know we've never met? What if his/her photos lied? -- but in this city you've got the added challenge of picking a perfect spot for a rendezvous from thousands of potential locations. So we present you with our handy guide, for which we've zoned in on the best options for that important first meeting, all based on which site you used to facilitate this (hopefully) excellent pairing. With these evening plans in your back pocket, it's only a matter of time before the lonely selfies, ironic but self-congratulatory profiles, and monthly member fees all go out the window.

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How to Hack the Heat and Feed Yourself Without Starving or Going Broke

Remember when we were all bitching about the cold spring? Yeah, me neither.

In this hot-ass weather, there are a few things you must know about feeding yourself. First, never cook. Second, you don't need to survive on expensive takeout to avoid starving to death, nor do you have to brave restaurants that might not be air-conditioned, accidentally committing yourself to a full meal with only the wheezy ceiling fan left to contend with ventilation needs.

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The Evolution of the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile

The 1969 edition had a fiberglass chassis with Pontiac and Ford design features.

When I was a kid in Minneapolis, the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile was a sight to be savored. My friends and I would see it only once or twice a year, in the parking lot of a shopping center in the 'burbs, or idling in front of a department store like Dayton's or Donaldson's downtown. Then we'd come running.

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New Age Pizza? Frankfurter Danish? Strange Wiener-Bearing Pastries Appear in Koreatown

Qu'est-ce que c'est at Tous les Jours?

Manhattan's Koreatown has been remaking itself at breakneck pace over the last two years, as Korean food finally approaches mainstream in New York. There are food courts, barbecues, tofu parlors, upscale formal restaurants with views of the city skyline, and, most recently, a slew of French bakeries aimed at Koreans. One of the newest is Tous les Jours ("All the Days"), and if you're in the vicinity, you ought to step in and examine the offerings, because some are really off the wall.

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Chicago Red Hot: Why Can't New Yorkers Get It Right? Custom American Wine Bar Almost Does

Custom's version comes close to the original, tastewise.

One of the triumphs of the hot-dog world is the Chicago-style frankfurter. But why can't anyone accurately reproduce it in New York? Certainly, we've had lots of attempts. The latest encountered by Fork in the Road is the "Mid West Custom-Made Dog" at the Custom American Wine Bar in Williamsburg.

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