Alexander Jorgensen

Behold, the Batali Pang.

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peta.org

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (not women)

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PETA's shock-value ad campaigns and publicity stunts have often overshadowed its cause. There was the time its members dressed up like the KKK outside the Westminster Dog Show. And, of course, all the half- or fully naked women either licking and fondling vegetables or photographed to look like meat themselves. We get it: Save animals! Fuck people! Now, the animal-rights organization is taking that message to the next level with a new PETA.xxx site.

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It's time to dip deep into the Fork in the Road archive, for some semi-obscene photos that explore the depths of human depravity, an uncharted territory wherein sex and eating are entirely confused, body fluids mix with effete French sauces, and who knows what can end up in the crock pot? We ask anyone less than 18 years of age to turn away, and those of tender sensibilities to simply turn to the next post. Don't say we didn't warn you!

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Mother Nature has a way of playing tricks on us, or maybe she's trying to remind us that we need to reproduce, but sometimes vegetables grow into suggestive shapes. Long ago, it might have caused the farmer to jump up from the field and run inside for a little roll in the hay. Nowadays, it just provokes a yawn. On the other hand, if you're sitting in your office bored to death, maybe these freaks of nature really are more interesting than that column of numbers you've been staring at for the last half hour, trying to find the mistake...

(Come to think of it, having your boss catch you looking at veggies with erections may be worse for your career than if you'd been caught looking at hardcore.)

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​In July, in response to a complaint from our editor ("C'mon, that expression is so tired and overused!"), Fork in the Road decided to do away with the expression "food porn"--but only as it applied to glowing descriptions of actual food. Digging deep into our vast picture archives, we discovered that there really is such a thing as actual food porn--soft- and hard-core pornography that uses food literally, or as a metaphor for sex. (See our first effort, here.)

One whole body of photographic material concerns hot dogs, and we found hundreds of examples. Some of it is funny and some of it is just sick--we leave it to you to make value judgements. For our part, we hate the stuff, but offer what's on the following pages as a sort of warning: Never confuse food and sex! (That means, don't watch The Naughty Chef!)

Click on "continue reading" to acknowledge that you are at least 18.

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