iVOICE TEAM EXCLUSIVE: Regina Spektor's Songwriting Secrets

InSpektorDeck: okay, sho far I have "doggy bites my tender heart" written down on a piece of paper 14 times, and then I follow it with a shtanza of really introspective, impossibly-talented music.

InSpektorDeck: how can I make this shong better?

OnlyUnderscoreSon: i think you should stop in the middle of it and go "boopityboop boopity boop" for a while for no reason

OnlyUnderscoreSon: and then you should make a noise like an airplane

OnlyUnderscoreSon: and your singing voice should alternate between a 40 year old Jewish woman from New York and Fran from Final Fantasy XII.

then it would be awesome

InSpektorDeck: thoshe are all valuable suggestions
/scribbles onto notepad

InSpektorDeck: but why doesn't this play in the Midwesht? I have 400 teenage girls singing along at my concert, but when they play "Fidelity" on the radio in Cleveland people complain and say it sounds "weird."

OnlyUnderscoreSon: it could be that you go AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH in the middle of that song

InSpektorDeck: the noishes? the noishes are the problem? I thought you liked the noishes!

OnlyUnderscoreSon: I do like the noises, I think you're awesome and unique

OnlyUnderscoreSon: but then again I sing along to an iPod instead of playing with a band so what do I know

InSpektorDeck: sho... if I want a big hit, I need to write a song without random noishes.

OnlyUnderscoreSon: It's worth a shot. Let's turn on the radio and see what people like! /turns on radio

UniversalSouljah: SO JAH BO UP IN DIS HOOOOO WAT ME CRANK IT WAT ME ROOOOOOO

UniversalSouljah: WAT ME CRANK DAT SO JAH BO DEN SOUP A MAN DAT HOOOOOOOO

UniversalSouljah: NOW WHY DIN YOOOOOOOOU

NOW WHY DIN YOOOOOOOOU

OnlyUnderscoreSon: on second thought, maybe you're just making the wrong noises

InSpektorDeck: oh my god what is he planning to do to that hoe