iVoice: A Place To Bury Strangers IM Chat

A Place to Bury Strangers plays the Music Hall of Williamsburg this Saturday, March 22 with Holy Fuck. Ticket info here.


**OnlineHost** Welcome to Apartment Building Chat!


larry: Come on, I'm going to show you around the city!


balki: but cousin i am not from this country! my naivete and poor mastery of english will result in hilralrious misunderstandings!


oliver_ackermann: /gets off elevator

Oh, hey! I don't think I've met you guys yet. I'm Oliver, I just moved in. I'm in this band called--


larry: AAAAAAHH


balki: aaaaaaa


**OnlineHost** larry and balki have left the chatroom.


oliver_ackermann: sigh


**OnlineHost** Welcome to Bedford Ave Bodega Chat!


cashier: ... where are your brothers and sisters?


kevin_mccallister: I'm an only child.


cashier: Well where do you live?


kevin_mccallister: I can't tell you that.


cashier: Why not?


kevin_mccallister:

cush you're a shtranger


oliver_ackermann: /walks up to counter

A box of Camel Lights, please.


cashier: AAAAAAAHHH

/runs away


oliver_ackermann: sigh


**OnlineHost** Welcome to Spoonbill & Sugartown Booksellers Chat!


oliver_ackermann: /finds "absurdist fiction" shelf

Oh, neat! I haven't read this one yet!


oliver_ackermann: /picks up book


albert_camus_novel: AAAAAAHH

/grows legs, runs away


oliver_ackermann: sighhhhhhhhh


oliver_ackermann: /checks watch

welp


**OnlineHost** Welcome to Music Hall of Williamsburg Chat!


oliver_ackermann: /takes stage

WHAT'S UP BROOKLYN


fog_machine: /whoooooooooosh


crowd: WOOOOOO

IT'S THE LOUDEST FUCKIN BAND IN NEW YORK

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


oliver_ackermann: Thank you! Thank you so much! This means a lot. . . it's been a hard day.


crowd: IT'S OKAY, APTBS!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!


oliver_ackermann: and ... and you don't mind if I find a place to bury you?


crowd: ... WHAT


oliver_ackermann: /produces shovel, truncheon

well, i mean, that's sort of our thing


crowd: HOLY FUCK


oliver_ackermann: Yeah, we were really honored to have them tour with us.

So who's first? Clear a pit, everybody!


crowd: /weeps


oliver_ackermann: god damn

the noise-rock scene is fuckin dead.


oliver_ackermann: this really isn't what I meant by "death by audio."

guess i won't need this

/drops truncheon

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