iVoice: A Place To Bury Strangers IM Chat

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Apartment Building Chat!

larry: Come on, I'm going to show you around the city!

balki: but cousin i am not from this country! my naivete and poor mastery of english will result in hilralrious misunderstandings!

oliver_ackermann: /gets off elevator

larry: AAAAAAHH

balki: aaaaaaa

**OnlineHost** larry and balki have left the chatroom.

oliver_ackermann: sigh

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Bedford Ave Bodega Chat!

cashier: ... where are your brothers and sisters?

kevin_mccallister: I'm an only child.

cashier: Well where do you live?

kevin_mccallister: I can't tell you that.

cashier: Why not?

kevin_mccallister:

oliver_ackermann: /walks up to counter

cashier: AAAAAAAHHH

oliver_ackermann: sigh

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Spoonbill & Sugartown Booksellers Chat!

oliver_ackermann: /finds "absurdist fiction" shelf

oliver_ackermann: /picks up book

albert_camus_novel: AAAAAAHH

oliver_ackermann: sighhhhhhhhh

oliver_ackermann: /checks watch

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Music Hall of Williamsburg Chat!

oliver_ackermann: /takes stage

fog_machine: /whoooooooooosh

crowd: WOOOOOO

oliver_ackermann: Thank you! Thank you so much! This means a lot. . . it's been a hard day.

crowd: IT'S OKAY, APTBS!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!

oliver_ackermann: and ... and you don't mind if I find a place to bury you?

crowd: ... WHAT

oliver_ackermann: /produces shovel, truncheon

crowd: HOLY FUCK

oliver_ackermann: Yeah, we were really honored to have them tour with us.

crowd: /weeps

oliver_ackermann: god damn

oliver_ackermann: this really isn't what I meant by "death by audio."