iVoice: Thriller 25, the IM Chat!

Categories: Jon Bois, iVoice
ANOTHER SOUND OF THE CITY CHAT ROOM EXCLUSIVE! We have no idea how these dudes do this, but iVoice correspondent Jon Bois hacked into an IM conversation between Michael Jackson and collaborator will.i.am back during the retrofitting of Thriller for its 25th anniversary! OMMFG! FIIIRST LOOK!


**OnlineHost** Welcome to Thriller 25 Recording Studio Chat!


FergieBottom: hey michael jackson!

hey type in a girl voice, it'll be funny because michael jackson


LazyPunchline: I don't know how to type in a girl voice.


FergieBottom: well then talk about the plastic surgery!


LazyPunchline: Well, over the course of the last twenty to twenty-five years, I have elected to undergo a series of cosmetic surgeries. Many of said surgeries were performed to alter the appearance of my nose.


FergieBottom: hey hey hey

what would happen if someone got a picture of you from when you were younger


FergieBottom: and then got another picture of you taken right now


FergieBottom: AND THEN SITUATED THE TWO PICTURES ADJACENT TO ONE ANOTHER


LazyPunchline: The two pictures would look markedly different.


FergieBottom: AHAHAHAHA

OH MY FRIGGIN GOD I'M GONNA GO DO THAT RIGHT NOW


**OnlineHost** FergieBottom has danced out of the chatroom.


LazyPunchline: Whoa, her butt is still here.


william.i.am: Yeah, I know. When she dances, her ass never moves.


william.i.am: So let's get down to business. You're calling this album "Thriller 25," right?


LazyPunchline: Well, to be truthful, by the time this album is released it will have been 25 years and two months since the release of the original Thriller


william.i.am: Man, nobody's gonna care. We could title it "GUY THEY TALK ABOUT ON BEST WEEK EVER SINGS THE RAP MUSIC" and it would sell five million copies.


LazyPunchline: True. Okay, so the first song you need to drop vocals on is "The Girl Is Mine 2008."


william.i.am: Sure thing. It's been a while, let me give it a read.

/reads lyrics


william.i.am: Um.

all right, uh


LazyPunchline: Yes?


william.i.am: Okay, just to be clear. In the last third of the song, we're, uh. . .we're arguing over a woman, right? Because, I mean, this is 2008, and you're 2008 Michael Jackson, and, uh


LazyPunchline: Hmm.


LazyPunchline: If you want, we could be arguing about whose turn it is to mow the lawn or something.


william.i.am: /stares


william.i.am: Okay, here's what we'll do. At the end of the song, I'll just have a one-sided argument with nobody over who gets the girl.


LazyPunchline: That works.


william.i.am: You know, I don't know whether I should even do this song at all. Are you sure you don't want to let Paul McCartney in here to just do another version of it with you?


LazyPunchline: I'm sure.


william.i.am: Because he's right there.


mccartneyds_an_oil_change: /stands outside, presses face against window glass


LazyPunchline: Oh, damn it.

/walks up to glass


LazyPunchline: This is the last time. I swear to God, get away from me or you're in for an ass-kicking.


mccartneyds_an_oil_change: /sad puppy face


LazyPunchline: Hey! Hey. Go fuck yourself, Old Man Coldplay. Go fuck yourself.


mccartneyds_an_oil_change: IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME IN FRONT OF THAT APARTMENT BUILDING!


william.i.am: imagine

ProgressiveBoink.com
jonbois@gmail.com

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