iVoice: Colin Meloy Meets the Shankill Butchers

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Music Hall of Williamsburg Chat!

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: hellayyyyw

crowd: What's with your accent?

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: oh it's just from where i gyew up

crowd: Which is where?

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: an island colony populated by bawoque-pop bwitish longshoeyremen that exists only in my mind

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: ok arye you guys wready to wock

crowd: WOO!

**OnlineHost** Colin Meloy sings a song about an aborted fetus who gets stuck in a chimney and then sees a deadbeat steal his mother's estate, then sails out to sea to avenge her, then finds out his mother has turned into a bird, and then he nurses it back to health and is magically reincarnated as the son of a trapeze artist who joins the Confederacy and dies and becomes a ghost.

**OnlineHost** Then the ghost does a bunch of 1800s shit.

crowd: So will the townsfolk ever find young Frederick's remains?

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: no he is not yreally dead, his spiwit is tuapped in his mothews locket

crowd: oh

WOOO

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: thank youuu thank youuuuu

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: /kind of tunes guitar but not really

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: this song is about me becoming a fatheeeyr

and having a chiyoowld

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: i thought i would not wuite a song about it, but then i decided to wuite a song about it, and then i thought, "why am i wuiting a song about itttttt"

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: because you know it's a cliche and i thought i would nevew wuite a song about it and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: soyyey i should stick to my mantwa "less talk moyre wock"

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: but anyway blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

**OnlineHost** Hours later...

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: ah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

crowd: /falls asleep

**OnlineHost** The Shankill Butchers have entered the chatroom.

shankill_butchers: RUB 'EM OUT BOYOS

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: i'm awake!

shankill_butchers: /wipe off cleavers with thighs

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: oh cwuap

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: hold on i need to come up with a wry and aloof song about me being bwutally muydered

ColinMeloy&TheInfiniteSadness: it's hawdew to be wry and aloof when i'm the one being bwutally muydered