iVoice: Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift Paint their Toenails!

By Camille Dodero Mon., Jun. 30 2008 at 2:07 PM

Categories: Brandon Stroud, iVoice

In case it hasn't yet been clearly articulated here (probably not), the two fellas responsible for the never-ending laff-riots that are iVoice chats are Jon Bois and Brandon Stroud, who also co-run the chat-game over at the Dugout. We're still not sure how they do it—they're either über-hackers or über-hecklers, but we don't want to know what's in the Big Mac Special Sauce either. This one comes courtesy of Brandon and it is a personal fave. — Your blawgh editah

	Online Host Welcome to the Painting Your Toenails Chatroom!
	BlareUnderwood: Isn't it great being a young country starlet in the new Nashville sound? /paints toe
	FastSeamstress: ERMAGARD I know!!! I'm, what, triple platinum or something, aydunno...
	BlareUnderwood: It is, like, a dream come true. Yesterday I got hit on by Joe Diffie. JOE DIFFIE
	FastSeamstress: eeeee!!!!
	BlareUnderwood: If I wanted I could have a store-gy with Big and Rich and Montgomery and Gentry and Brooks and Dunn!
	FastSeamstress: omg do you have david archuletas tex number??
	BlareUnderwood: nyah hee hee nyah hee /paints toe
	FastSeamstress: Just think, I'm like "Fancy" from that Reba McEntire song where she gets a dress and makes a life for herself!
	BlareUnderwood: i think that song is about a child prostitute
	FastSeamstress: oh
	FastSeamstress: well yeah that's still pretty accurate
	BlareUnderwood: Well I'm this generation's Tammy Wynette!
	FastSeamstress: wasn't she badly beaten and abused and kidnapped from a grocery store or something one time?
	BlareUnderwood: Okay then, I'm this generation's Patsy Cline!
	FastSeamstress: wasn't she abused by her father when she was little and didn't she die in a plane crash?
	FastSeamstress: whispers and wasn't she like a size thirty
	BlareUnderwood: this generation's Tanya Tucker?
	FastSeamstress: wasn't she a drug addict and an alcoholic teenager who slept with everybody?
	BlareUnderwood: this generation's Pam Tillis?
	FastSeamstress: lost her original face in the war
	BlareUnderwood: loretta lynn
	FastSeamstress: beaten, abused, had 11 kids before she turned 12
	BlareUnderwood: I-
	FastSeamstress: What?
	BlareUnderwood: Fine! I'm this generation's Dolly Parton!
	FastSeamstress: okay, whatev. but I mean when she was young she had to-
	BlareUnderwood: She has huge tits and gay people love her!
	FastSeamstress: okay, okay, sor-ry
	FastSeamstress: ....
	FastSeamstress: hey can i be this generation's dolly parton instead, that sounds awesome
	BlareUnderwood: Hell no, you already called child prostitute
	FastSeamstress: come owwwwwnnnn /stomps feet
	BlareUnderwood: nope, sorry
	FastSeamstress: but Miley Cyrus already called it!!!! /holds breath
	BlareUnderwood: nope, sorry, enjoy your dead roach-infested mother