Interview: Morning Joe's Willie Geist--"The Oracle of MSNBC"--Speaks Again

"The NFL is this close to being the Taliban."

A few weeks ago, Morning Joe co-host Willie Geist was kind enough to answer a few questions for us. Impressed by his sagacity--or at least his insights into Family Ties and José Canseco--we decided to ask him a few more. So below, more of Willie's views on sports, television, and his co-hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski.

If you and Joe Scarborough had to share a bunk bed, who'd get the top and who'd get the bottom?

Before I answer, I want you to know I see right through your attempt to get me to describe my relationship with Joe in "Top/Bottom" terms. Having said that, Joe is totally a bottom, so I'd have to climb the ladder to the top of our NASCAR-themed bunk beds.

Which regular Morning Joe guest do you personally feel like you learn the most from?

Boy, that's tough. I learn the most about political maneuvering from Joe. I learn the most about history from Pat Buchanan. I learn the most about the economy from the maniacal rants of my friend Dylan Ratigan of CNBC. And I learn the most about personal hygiene from Mike Barnicle, who apparently practices a fringe religion that forbids the use of soap. Axe Body Spray only hides so much.

Do you ever have to help Mika take her boots off?

No, Mika's boots are off limits. They're stored in climate-controlled humidors in a cellar beneath the skating rink at Rockefeller Plaza. Mika's assistant Louis is the only person with retinal-scan access to the vault. Every day at dusk, Louis reads poetry to the boots and brushes them with King Cobra venom before taking them by horse-drawn carriage to visit the Thannhauser Collection at the Guggenheim.