Boston Grindcore Agitators AxCx Coming to Brooklyn, Frontman Seth Putnam Is Offering "Professional Services"

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AxCx 2009, Seth Putnam center: Three men you'd love to take home to mom.

Years before anybody named Tony Touch would sling a limp insult like, "Your father dress in drag/Stick out his chest and brag how he molest a fag," Anal Cunt's Seth Putnam was growling such lyrical niceties as "You Robbed a Sperm Bank Because You're a Cum-Guzzling Fag" or "I Made Your Kid Gets AIDS So You Could Watch It Die." And who could forget AxCx's other feats of nasty offense: "Easy-E [sic] Got AIDS from Freddie Mercury" and "I Became a Counselor So I Could Tell Rape Victims They Asked for It"?

To this day, though, anyone even remotely familiar with AxCx's especially aggressive brand of scumfucktacular whimsy will always associate the band with the particularly unsympathetic hospital ode, "You're In a Coma": "You're a fucking vegetable, we tried to pull the plug/but you still wouldn't die, you're a dumb stupid fag/you shit in a bag, you piss in a tube/you can't walk, you can't move." Why that song instead of "Women: Nature's Punching Bag," you ask? Because about seven years after "You're In a Coma" was laid to tape on I Like It When You Die, "sweet guy" Seth Putnam actually ended up in coma--after having done $200 worth of crack, a bunch of heroin, nearly committing suicide, and then ingesting a bunch of sleeping pills. One cannot make this shit up. Nor his reflection on the irony of being in a coma: "Actually, it turned out it was just as gay as the song I wrote nine years ago -- being in a coma was just as fuckin' stupid as I wrote it was."

So now it's 2009, Seth Putnam has been (mostly) conscious for about four years, performed live in a wheelchair, grown a basketball belly, and already reunited the original AxCx line-up. But this spring, he's again touring with an all-star version of Anal Cunt that hits Europa May 9, as well as promising new material a/k/a/w/t/f "HOT NEW TRAXXX." Plus, via his relaunched label Wicked Sick Records, Putnam's offering "Professional Services." As our old friends at On the Download explain:

    He's touting everything from music lessons, album design, and session work to full-service music production and band management. "Packages available include expert advice for as little as an hour to providing long-term/ongoing guidance," the site reads. "WSR stresses that we are offering up our 20+ years experience in the underground music industry to help your band establish, present, and promote itself without losing YOUR unique style, and to help you find the perfect sound for YOUR band."

Let the next-level rap battles begin: 50 Cent needs to hire this man immediately.

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