Week in Review: Swine Flu False Alarm Total Panic Edition

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In the week that we thought maybe we had swine flu, ran frightened from our offices, wandered the East Village for hours looking for wireless or a good doctor, and eventually received an email with the subject line "It's NOT Swine Flu," we sheepishly came back to our desks, only to find an army of cleaning ninjas in white jumpsuits and scary facemasks waiting for us. True story. In related news, no one from this office is ever going to get laid again.

Anyway, that's probably it for us and swine flu jokes
. Definitely done with those.

What else. Nels Cline on masturbation, Magik Markers' Elisa Ambrogio on killing women, Found Magazine's Davy Rothbart tells a joke that starts "Jim Carroll goes to a colonic spa...", actor Diego Luna on the man with whom he is pictured in many a sexual fantasy, Gael Garcia Bernal, and Deradoorian, a/k/a Angel from Dirty Projectors doing laundry.

How Camille met the hipster snitcher, the man who put Kari Ferrell behind bars.

M.I.A. to Michelle Obama, Oprah: "STOP THE BOMBING OF THE TAMILS IN SRI LANKA."

Plus, dispatches from the not terribly successful Junior Boys show, risk-taking with Vampire Weekend and Wells Tower, the Harlem Shakes' avant-twee utopia, Electric Six at the Bowery Ballroom, Pete Seeger's 90th birthday celebration at MSG, and Vetiver at the Bowery Ballroom.

Not to mention David Sedaris' porno years, David Foster Wallace's reading list, the fascinating and ever more bizarre Big City Philadelphia story, Gavin McInnes gets knocked the fuck out, when keeping it real goes wrong: Clipse edition, the Cool Kids go fishing, Eminem weirdly endorses red bull, American Idol, what Bob Dylan has in common with the Shins, and Andrew Kuo's I'm Dying Over Here! at Taxter & Spengemann. We'd say more, but we have a long shower to go take now.

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