Dear Guy Who Is Even Now Getting Our Star Trek Cover Tattooed on His Own Leg

Right now, you're live Twittering the gradual yet agonizing process of having a man named Ron permanently etch three different generations of cartoon Captain Kirk on your left calf. You're listening to William Shatner's "Live Life Like You're Gonna Die." This is apparently your tenth tattoo, and the third to grace one of your legs. The images you are using come from a satirical Ward Sutton Voice cover story in which Shatner, wearing a "Shatner's Raw Nerve" t-shirt, complains bitterly to Spock about not being included in the recent J.J. Abrams remake. The headline? "The Shatner Menagerie." A menagerie you are even now making eternal on your own body. You are our new hero.