Did R. Kelly Inadvertently Confess to Having Sex with a 14-Year-Old?
R. Kelly's latest mixtape is The "Demo" Tape, a free, very unlicensed suite of riffs on tracks by T-Pain, Jeremih, Lil Wayne, and more. It's a funny, ouroboric project: Kelly remakes songs by a generation of rappers-turned-singers who in turn make music directly inspired by R. Kelly. At the center of this hall of mirror's is Kelly's cover of The-Dream's "Kelly's 12 Play," a song about boning to the 1993 R. Kelly album of the same name. "You can't ruin it while we doin' it to Kelly's 12 Play," sings The-Dream, on his own Love Vs. Money. "Like a DJ, we screwin' it while we doin' it to Kelly's 12 Play." Which Kelly, hilariously, updates to:
- I believe that your momma and your daddy, they laid down, and they did it to Kelly's 12 Play
You can't ruin it, we doin' it to Kelly's 12 Play
Except, uh, Byron Crawford does the math:
- If 12 Play came out in 1993, and this is 2009, a child conceived to that album could only be 16 at this point. I consulted the world's most accurate encyclopedia, and it says that 12 Play came out in November of '93, i.e. not even 16 years ago at this point. A baby conceived in November of '93 would have been born in about August of '94 and wouldn't even be quite 15 at this point. Yikes!
Yikes indeed. Also included on The "Demo" Tape is an autotuned cover of Lil Wayne's "Every Girl," in which Kellz echoes Lil Wayne's desire to have sex with every girl in the world, including the Statue of Liberty. Which, now that we think about it, is probably way more illegal than the videotaped statutory rape Kelly already got acquitted for once. Not more despicable. Just more illegal.
R. Kelly accidentally confesses in song [Byron Crawford]