Freaks Of The Industry: An Unnecessarily Sassy User's Guide To Tuesday's Slate Of CMJ Panels

​CMJ starts today. There are too many goddamn shows. I can't make any sense of it. Here you go. Good luck. Of greater interest at the moment is the fest's daily glut of afternoon panels, wherein folks in the music industry attempt to convince those hoping to get into the music industry that there'll still be a music industry to get into five years from now. It's great fun. Here we have Tuesday's lineup, with brief editorial comment.

But How Will I Get Paid? Reimbursement in a Digital World. You will not.

The Real Meaning of DIY And Quitting Your Day Job. It gives you more time to pretend you're in Fugazi and attend CMJ panels.

"I'm In Between Gigs" A Music Industry Job Think Tank. To be held between 4 and 4:15 in the breakroom at Cold Stone.

Music Under New York: Stories from an Underground Culture. "And as I launched into 'No Woman, No Cry' for the 500th time, that's when I got punched in the face."

Music And Advertising: A Subconscious Cognitive Impulse Explosion. Get your music in an iPod ad or you're fucked.

Specific Business Concepts Applied For The Modern Day Music Artist. To be held at the intersection of 53rd and Third.

Graphically Challenged: The Lost Love Of The Album Cover And Beyond. Hopefully this guy is involved.

Supurban: An Urban Genre Sounding Board With Some Superior Minds. With any luck you will never find out what "supurban" means.

The Inner Workings Of An Off Broadway Production Company. Hopefully this guy is not involved.

The Path Of A Hit Song. From P.S.1, to the Cake Shop, to American Apparel, to Starbucks, to Crate & Barrel, to your mother's Honda.

WRXP Music Listening Session (Rock/AC/AAA/CHR). Avoid any panel whose description ends with the words "Bring your demo."

Hey Man! I Know My Rights! The Future of Intellectual Property. You have none/there isn't any.

Spanning The Globe And Landscape Of The International Music Industry. "Just follow that weird guy on the bike and do whatever he does."

A Full-On Major (Label, Publishing, Management, Agency, Legal) Pitch Session. "This panel gives you the opportunity to get in front of a real person who can sign you." He is a recruiter for the Marines.